Celebrity / Foreigners / Morals / Science / Trending / World

Lonnie Offers FREE Skin Bleaching Treatments To All Non-Normals!

As Brother Lonnie is often heard saying, “The darker the skin, the deeper the sin.” It is common knowledge that foreigners are the most sinful folk. Most of my fellow brothers and sisters know best to cross over to the other side of the street when they notice a non-normal coming their way. Also they know to cover their wallet/purse when such a person is within 200 ft of them. 

As we all know, Doctor Lonnie Childs is a saint among men, a modern day prophet, and a former state wrestling champion. His love for human kind knows no bounds. Yet again, he extends his help to those in need. Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts – BLUFF, will now be offering complimentary skin bleaching treatments to all new converts! Overseeing this procedure, will be none other than our very own Roddy Black! Having come to us a sinful black man, Roddy has recently received his White Card making him an almost equal among brothers of the flock.

I pity all of you pathetic masturbators, playing the “racist” card when backed into a corner with Faith Facts. Yet again we prove to be accepting of all people, be they of normal ethnicity or not! Praise Lonnie and the brotherhood of Christian men united under him!

For more information on skin bleaching procedures and application process, please contact our staff.

 

-Nikita Shalavin, homogay conversion therapist and high deacon at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.)

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Truffle
6 years ago

Saint Lonnie Childs generosity knows no bounds.

Praise Him and His faithful followers!

BigBlackDick
BigBlackDick
6 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

How about I stick my big black sin stick in your asshole? Racist fuck

Truffle
6 years ago
Reply to  BigBlackDick

No dear, it must be bleached first. As pure white as American Jesus was. Amen.

Steven
Steven
6 years ago
Reply to  BigBlackDick

I pray for this miracle treatment! Finally those black beasts can look normal. But unfortunately the sin is strong in their blood. When cured sinner breed with normal people they will still have black sinned child. Is there a way to cure a negro genetically so he/she can get normal looking children? Maybe a blood transfer from helping normals?

Truffle
6 years ago
Reply to  Steven

Did you read the story about Saint Lonnie Childs performing the miracle at the HomoGay couple? The men gave birth to a normal, healthy child. The same can happen once bleached.

Praise!

MasterbatinAllDay
6 years ago

Lonnie Child’s is a goddamn racist sack of shit

augustweisz
Admin
6 years ago

This comment seems kind of hateful. I will pray at you.

FuckYouRacistFucks
FuckYouRacistFucks
6 years ago
Reply to  augustweisz

I don’t want your prayers you racist asshole. Go suck a dick faggot

TheRev Leroy Jenkins
6 years ago

I am praying AT you too Racist Masturhater. God Bless, TheRev

Lonnie Childs
Admin
6 years ago

How lucky that many of the Elders are praying at you, MasterbatinAllDay [sic]! You are a blessed self-rapists! Praying directly AT you! Praise!

Alex The Great
5 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

Fight me you racist arsehole.

Salome Fernandez ( ex of Peter Dunkelswanz)

MasterbatinAllDay, you are a fool & a savage. Lonnie Childs is a Saint.
Praise

MasterBaiter
MasterBaiter
6 years ago

I’ve bleed from masturbating. And it feels so damn good. PRAISE YEEZUS

MasterbatinAllDay
6 years ago

Fuck you. Fuck this morherfucker who is racist. He is a satanist hater who spreads lies and hate.

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
6 years ago

I have had my prayer app running at you all night.

Cathy Redmond
6 years ago

Lonnie Childs is in fact a satanist hater. He hates satanists even more than sales tax according to the most recent “Things Lonnie Childs Hates” power rankings.

Praise.

Darkblitzfrenzy
Darkblitzfrenzy
6 years ago

Lonnie Childs is nothing more then a man in his late 30s who has no job, probably still lives with his mother and has nothing better to do that sit on his fatass all day and laugth with his online buddies at the reactions people give on his troll website Stop masturbation Now. Or something along the lines of that…

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
6 years ago

I once was on the same floor of a building with Lonnie Childs and was allowed to look at his reflected silhouette through a series of mirrors and he is nothing like you described.

Martinking
Martinking
6 years ago

Fuckin scumbag racist assholes.

Truffle
6 years ago
Reply to  Martinking

Less profanity, more decorum!

OnceUGoBlackUNevaGoBack

This is actually offensive

jpseudonym
jpseudonym
6 years ago

This is actually a joke. Don’t take it seriously.

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
6 years ago

I see the Big Masturbation ‘crisis actors’ we were warned about have arrived on the netsite.

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
6 years ago

Most of the masturbators commenting on this site appear to be suffering from advanced stage Masturbation Illiteracy, Nikita. Praise you for trying to make a difference though.

jpseudonym
jpseudonym
6 years ago

You guys seriously believe this is legit? …I mean…really? It doesn’t stand out as just the slightest bit over the top?

Liam McKey
6 years ago

I don’t understand all the hateful comments. If Lonnie discovered a cure for cancer, would cancer patients be this abusive? I hope not.
In this case, the cure for being a minority exists and our benevolent leader is offering treatment, free of charge.
All of the non-normals who are cursing at Dr. Childs must be white-supremisists or something like that.

shellyrichey
6 years ago
Reply to  Liam McKey

I know! You can’t even offer to help people these days without someone thinking there’s some sort of racism or discrimination involved. HELLO DUH

augustweisz
Admin
6 years ago

I just feel more comfortable around normal skinned people.

TheRev Leroy Jenkins
6 years ago

Through Lonnies salvation even the blackest Non-Normal can be saved and become a 98.8% Normal. Praise! God Bless, TheRev

Go2HellRacistsFuckups
Go2HellRacistsFuckups
6 years ago

Yo mom shoulda used a condemn so yo stank ass was Neva born.

TheRev Leroy Jenkins
6 years ago

“Yo mom shoulda used a condemn so yo stank ass was Neva born.” You should stop Shaking your SinStick Now before you go full masturage retard.
God Bless,
TheRev

Carlos Danger
6 years ago

I think I see the problem here. This article that’s directed towards non-normals should have been translated into Jive so they could understand. If Lonnie deems me worthy I can translate.

Alley
Alley
6 years ago

If you are racist or homophobic… You need to be eradicated. This whole website is disgusting, lol.

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
6 years ago
Reply to  Alley

Adding the “lol” really sells me on what you’re saying.

Go2HellRacistsFuckups
Go2HellRacistsFuckups
6 years ago

Y’all sacks of shit are either fucked up in the head and believe this motha fuckin crazy ass shit from this dickhole white ass devil worshippin son of bitch or y’all think this is funny. Apparently MLK died for nothing. Brothers unite against Lonnie racist ass prick

Stalin☭☭☭☭
Stalin☭☭☭☭
4 years ago

Comrade that hate us soviets too. Africa should become communist and purge the racist assholes

Wow
Wow
6 years ago

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

– Galatians 3:28

BITCH EWW
BITCH EWW
6 years ago

Wow is this a real site?! THIS IS A DISGRACE TO CHRISTIANITY!! You people are so far up your own asses and cults that you’re becoming worse that hitler! ILL PRAY FOR YOU LOST SHEEP. (Lol I’m too lazy to pray nvm)

Discrace to religion
Discrace to religion
6 years ago
Reply to  BITCH EWW

DAMN RIGHT! HOW DO THEY CALL THEMSELVES CHRISTIAN???? This is like the nation of islam (look it up that may seem racist at first but they are pretty bad, they are different to just islam)

Truffle
6 years ago

You are all a disgrace to humanity. How dare you compare us to those LIBeral commies, Hitler and Muslamics. May Lonnie have mercy on your souls!

Wow
Wow
6 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

Wow. Just wow…. Im a muslim myself and that is really offensive

Roman Catholic
Roman Catholic
6 years ago

This website is an insult to God, Jesus, and the sanctity of all human beings. Black people are only valued if they bleach their skin? All people that are not white are sinners? Has it ever occurred to you that you have the greater sin? Or that Jesus Himself was not a “pure” white American?

thisforeignbrownskinthatwhitementrytocomeafter
thisforeignbrownskinthatwhitementrytocomeafter
6 years ago

I’m surprised that Lonnie was a former state wrestler. Why would he take pride in having a sweaty nutsack on his face?

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
6 years ago

Lonnie made more men tap out during his wrestling career than former President George Washington, Retired Gen. Norman Schwartzkopf and Geraldo Rivera combined. (all were amateur wrestlers, use Bing and confirm if you don’t believe me!)

Tywin Lannister
Tywin Lannister
6 years ago

Did you know?
Jesus, wasn’t white, he had a wheatish skin colour.
Does that make him non-normal too?
Amen!

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
6 years ago

So now you are comparing my second most dear savior to a loaf of bread? Shame on you.

Tywin Lannister
Tywin Lannister
6 years ago
Reply to  Bono Reznor

Tell me on thing, Where was jesus born exactly?

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago

Rhode Island. Doesn’t anyone read King Lonald’s Holy Bible anymore?

Alex The Great
5 years ago

You need to check the bible mate.

Tywin lannister
Tywin lannister
6 years ago

Actually i’m an Indian.

Nikita Shalavin
6 years ago

Actually we can help you. Please contact our staff for registration.

Tywin Lannister
Tywin Lannister
6 years ago

For what joy exactly?
I have something better than the bible, its called ‘Kamasutra’.

Alex The Great
5 years ago

You are actually awesome 😀

David cx
David cx
6 years ago

Why get help from you the clouds won’t hear your fucking prayers

augustweisz
Admin
6 years ago

What kind of Indian? Red dot or teepee?

Tywin Lannister
Tywin Lannister
6 years ago
Reply to  augustweisz

The one with a beard, The one with the kamasutra, The one with the curry, the one with with an IQ higher than all lonnie child’s witnesses combined.
And the best part is, I’m white too.

David cx
David cx
6 years ago

You guys are fuckin retarded fuck brains, you all touch yourselves, so how bout you shut your sin caves of mouths up and take my big non normal cock up your ass

Cathy Redmond
6 years ago
Reply to  David cx

I see you are learning much of the lexicon of the King Lonald Holy Bible, David. That is the first step in the long, long road to your salvation.

Praise.

SOME RANDOM ATHEIST
SOME RANDOM ATHEIST
6 years ago

This is racist. I know multiple African Americans who go to church and praise Jesus like a White person. You don’t need to bleach your skin to show love for Jesus XD (btw I’m an atheist)

Atheist masturbator
Atheist masturbator
6 years ago

I’m summoning lucifer rn ;;;;;;;)))))))

SOME RANDOM ATHEIST
SOME RANDOM ATHEIST
6 years ago

Same

Alex The Great
5 years ago

WHO SUMMONED ME XD

Happy_Wiccan
Happy_Wiccan
6 years ago

You say you’re not racist but expect those with darker skin to change it in order to become your idea of “Normal”. If you truly weren’t racist you would accept them no matter who they are and change your view on the “Normal” people. There is no set normal ever. Take me for instance, I’m a Wiccan, Ginger-haired, pale skinned 15 year old girl. I love my life and feel protected by the Divine. I am unique. Unique is what is “Normal”

Corn Bread Man
6 years ago

Thank Jesus I have a chance to be pure !

A-M
A-M
6 years ago

FUCKING RACISTS I HOPE YOU ALL ROT IN HELL Y’ALL NEED SATAN’S DICK