Post Tagged with: "Anti-Masturbation Technology"

STOP Masturbation NOW Anti-Masturbation Strait Jacket® Successfully Deployed At Arizona Juvenile Detention Center

STOP Masturbation NOW Anti-Masturbation Strait Jacket® Successfully Deployed At Arizona Juvenile Detention Center

Lonnie Childs received great news over the weekend when the Graham County Juvenile Detention Center in Safford, Arizona delivered the results of a three-month study on the effectiveness of the Anti-Masturbation Strait Jacket®. According to spokesman Dennis E. Cross of the GCJDC, “We found Mr. Childs’s jackets were of great benefit to […]

by May 11, 2015 33 comments Lonnie Childs
Lonnie Childs Demands Mandatory Penile Monitoring For All Masturbators

Lonnie Childs Demands Mandatory Penile Monitoring For All Masturbators

We at Stop Masturbation Now have been following the progress of Tina’s Law as it spreads across the United States. Brother Lonnie Childs, in His infinite wisdom, has made “penile monitoring” mandatory for all convicted and suspected male violators of the groundbreaking Anti-Masturbation law. Penile monitoring or, penile plethysmography, is […]

by April 10, 2015 7 comments Self-Rape Prevention
Faith and Drug Adminstration (FDA) Approves New Masturbation Cessation Aid Masturbutrin®!

Faith and Drug Adminstration (FDA) Approves New Masturbation Cessation Aid Masturbutrin®!

In the race to end masturbation, medical interventions are nothing new, but then again neither are male enhancement drugs such as this https://www.vigrx.com/products/vigrx-organic-bio-maca/ and many others. Since the late 1930s, electroconvulsive therapy has been a mainstay of practitioners who love righteousness and hate sin (Shalavin, 2013). But homogays and masturbators […]

TSA Backscatter Scanners Successful In Reducing Masturbation

TSA Backscatter Scanners Successful In Reducing Masturbation

A two-year study by the Foundation For A Better Tomorrow found that the TSA Backscatter Anti-Terrorist Scanners not only kept America safe but also reduced the urge to masturbate in those travelers zapped by the machines. Faith Researcher and spokesman Paul Nelson explains, “We followed travelers that went through the Backscatter […]

by August 23, 2014 7 comments Politics, Trending, World
Sorry, lesser gendered campound member; the LonBot2000 is seeing red. Back to the Menstrual Hut with you!

3 Amazing Pieces Of Anti-Masturbation Technology

Just this past month of May in this, our year of America 2014, Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts had it’s first annual Technology Month. It was a grand affair that culminated in showcasing some cutting edge technology in the fight against masturbation. Today, I’m focusing on three incredible innovations […]

by July 14, 2014 25 comments History, Trending
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