Post Tagged with: "masturbator"

Lenny Kravitz Wardrobe Malfunction Proves Status As Masturbator

Lenny Kravitz Wardrobe Malfunction Proves Status As Masturbator

Emo rocker Lenny Kravitz recently embarrassed himself in public by way of a “wardrobe malfunction” while on stage performing to a live audience. The alleged “malfunction” occurred when Kravitz’s pants supposedly “exploded”; causing his unremarkable, rubbery genitalia to flop in time with the spastic motions his body was making to […]

by August 4, 2015 11 comments Celebrity
Amanda Bynes in 2006, before masturbation nearly destroyed her life.

Profile Of A Famous Masturbator: Amanda Bynes

The allure of Hollywood draws in the unholy from all walks of life. Brother Lonnie has made it clear in the past that no one is safe from the dangers of masturbation; including and especially the rich and famous. In many of these cases, the actor / singer / songwriter […]

Crazed Californian Masturbator Kills Nearly 1000 Chickens

Crazed Californian Masturbator Kills Nearly 1000 Chickens

Further proving that golf is an evil sport that should be banned, a deranged masturbator took a golf club and murdered nearly 1000 chickens in a facility near Fresno, California. The facility, owned by chicken manufacturer, Foster Farms, claimed that 920 chickens were murdered “with a golf club or other […]

by October 3, 2014 9 comments Animals, Death, Morals, Trending
Suicidal Masturbator Disrupts Travel At Chicago Airports

Suicidal Masturbator Disrupts Travel At Chicago Airports

Travelers trying to use Chicago’s two major airports, Midway and O’Hare, on Friday were met with extreme delays and cancelled flights after a fire at the air traffic control center in Aurora, Illinois. Due to the fire, not only were flights into Chicago either cancelled or delayed, but it created […]

by September 28, 2014 6 comments Trending
Bionic “Glov” Masturbator in Development

Bionic “Glov” Masturbator in Development

SMN Labs-The newest threat from Big Masturbation is soon to become retail. A group of non-normal perverts in Tampa, FL have started “Glovin Life” to promote the sin delights females can acheive with a device named simply, ‘The Glov.” Ladies with carpel tunnel pain can now experience dip-diddlings and pounding […]

by August 12, 2014 12 comments Science
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