WASHINGTON, D.C., AMERICA — (SMNNN) The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) sued popular wireless carrier, T-Mobile USA Inc. today, accusing T-Mobile of billing their users for hundreds of millions of dollars in “false” charges on their bills. According to the FTC, the vast majority of the charges were in the form […]
PYONGYANG, DPRK — (SMNNN) In a surprising move today, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un took time out from recording music with Snoop Dogg, to declare a recent film by Seth Rogen as an “act of war against all who oppose masturbation”. Rogen’s new film stars himself and fellow liberal masturbator […]
SACRAMENTO, CALIF. — (SMNNN) A user on the popular world wide web netsite “Twitter” hid 18 hidden caches of masturbation supplies on the Sacramento State University college campus early Tuesday morning. Multiple Sacramento State students and unrepentant masturbators in the city of Sacramento flocked to the campus to search for the […]
By: Cassidy Pen TEXAS – Firefighters are discovering that they must battle masturbating self rapists as well as dangerous brush fires. These heroes deserve more.
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) American War Machine Patriot and National Hero Lt. Col. Oliver North took a shot at the host of a variety show, liberal Jon Stewart, while on his book tour. North, promoting his new book of faith facts, ‘Big Masturbation’s Lies’, let loose condemning Stewart as […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) An unnamed source that claims to have infiltrated into the shady Big Masturbation organization has asserted that the group plans to use “crisis actors” to derail discussion on the newly christened Stop Masturbation Now Facebook netpage. For the uninitiated, ‘crisis actors’ are hired guns […]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkMNOlYcpHg](STOPMasturbationNOW)– Kim Jong Un has achieved yet another level of mass mind control success after closing a music deal with Snoop Doggy Dogg to release a mind control song and take over all of North America and Lesser Mexican America. The song entitled Hangover was written with subliminal Korean messages […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FL — (SMNNN) The future of the new technology, known colloquially as “the internet”, is a topic that has gotten a lot of traction lately in both the mainstream media as well as the seedy underbelly of the “‘information superhighway”. Unfortunately, no other netsite has written about […]
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. (WHNT) – Sarah Palin, arguably one of the most well-known women in the Republican Party in the last several years, horrified members of the Republican Party and supporters of her presidential campaign by walking on to the stage in full “O” face. Dr. David Copeland, Madison County Superintendent, confirmed […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SMMNN) – A study by the U.S. Navy, funded by a Big Masturbation shell corporation think tank, has attempted to sully the good name of stunt flying team the ‘Blue Angels’. Amongst the litany of accusations are charges of supporting a Homogay™ lifestyle and sexual harrassment. According […]
