B.L.U.F.F. AZ – The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow, along with NASA, has determined that self rape residues in the atmosphere are at unsafe levels in many areas of the United States.
The FFBT and NASA, as part of a joint taxpayer funded coalition, has been measuring the levels of masturbation particulates, semen droplets, and pubic dust in the atmosphere for the past ten years using orbiting satellite technology and data collection standards. Historical records have shown that self rape residue (S.R.R.) levels increase exponentially during summer months in areas of high humidity where SRRs are more susceptible to ionic attachment to water and cloud forms.
Those living in areas of high SRR are advised to wear protective covering about their faces. Any open sores should also be dressed with fresh bandages and changed frequently.
Refrain, or course, from masturbation and excessive handling of the sex organs. A two shake limit during urination is in effect.
Please stay informed by referencing StopMasturbationNow.org and the sister Facebook page for complete news on this and other important anti-self rape content.
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Fuck your website and your so-called “FaithFacts”. I masturbate everyday and I’m proud of it.
Classic masturbation rage. Praying now.
“Masturbation rage” you mean rage of some stupid trolling website with no facts at all?
What crawled up your ass and died?!?
IM AM ON HERE BECAUSE OF THE CROSS MEME AND I HAVE A PEPE THAT CUMS WHEN I TOUCH IT bITCHES !!!!
SANE HERE BITCHES
PP FOR LIFE
This is a classic self-rapist. Addicted. I’m sure this friend is from one of the eastern areas experiencing extreme levels of self rape residue. We can help you. Open mindedness to change is the first step. At least you are willing to admit you have a problem.
Son I’m not the one with the problem. I think you have a problem with believing every lie these fools say.
“Self Rape” blamed on Satan herp derp. Neanderthal running in the woods because he slurps and chirps.
I understand that you are proud. Let the light back into your life. Come back to the fold. You are clearly aggressive because of your guilt. Let us clap for this soul. Praise.
Son, It is clear that these men have brainwashed you with their lies and treachery. You have gone too deep and there is no hope for you to ever see the truth. I fell sorry for you.
I nearly fell down when I read your last comment. You are clearly deflecting and thus an aggressive masturbator as well. Fight the good fight. I believe in you and will pray “AT” you in order to maximize your recovery.
Overcompensating because bishops have gay sex with children. Repeat after me I’m Bishop Smith and and I’m a sex offender.
This sounds extremely sexual perhaps I can recommend some therapists.
What shit have you been smoking?
Lol I came accosts this site funny shit that’s exactly what I thought!
I am fighting the good fight son, against Stop Masturbation Now, Lonnie Childs. and all the rest of the fools on this site. I hope that one day you will see past the lies these men have told you and realize what a glorious thing masturbation can be. Praise.
Perception is realty for some. Your tainted perception of reality likely stems from your secretive masturbatory sessions. Self-rape is a crime in this kingdom. I encourage and warn you to get rid of all of your lotions child. Holy help is on the way.
You use epistemic reasoning. It inferior you know. Try reading some Albert Camus or Jean Paul Sartre. Really just read any existentialist. At least try chances are you lack mental faculties to understand it. It’s worth a shot though.
I don’t deal in “lies”, masturbator. Only faithfacts. Praise!
You mean FAKEfacts dumbass masturbation is scientifically proven to reduce stress and is a healthy part of life. I pray for you that you might see the truth one day but until then I will rip on you
Hail Satan. *fapfapfapfap
You people can NOT be serious??!?!?! You actually believe this crap you’re pushing, or is this a satire site meant to make people laugh? This is one of the most hilarious and overly disturbing websites I have ever come across! PLEASE tell me this is a joke? There’s absolutely NOTHING factual about any of this. NONE.
RD, there are accountable #FaithFacts that check the authenticity of everything posted in this net-page. Please stop doing the will of Big Masturbation and repent.
Everything on this Holy netsite is a proven #FaithFact that has been researched and verified by Lonnie Childs. What you see elsewhere on the world wide web is the “reality” that Big Masturbation wants you to believe is the truth.
That “reality” is false.
Once you accept Lonnie Childs as your savior it all becomes clear. Until you do, I will pray at you; as will the rest of us.
Praise.
Verified by “Lonnie Childs” how does that work?
Accept Lonnie Child’s as your savior? What is this, an anti-madturbation cult?
Don’t be an anti-thesis.
Kifflom!
You have no idea howw much I am enojoying this page, I have not had a laught this good for along long time… I do feel sorry for anyone taking this shit serious tho….
Lol, how is California and Nevada normal? Ever heard of SF and Vegas? Lol, even if any of this was true you map is still inaccurate.
You lot are fucking strange big up all atheists we will eliminate religion soon enough! 🙂
Silly Athetit.
Praying AT you!
If praying a weapon now?
and I’m praying at you except in dragon tongue (if u play skyrim u get it)
Raping my self while reading this, so good.
Stumbled in here from imgur postrich fap… how do I updoot this comment!
http://www.nasa.gov/socialmedia/
Go here, pick Social Media of Your Choice
Ask them about Self Rape Residue or SRR.
Or if you’re so inclined perform a google search for the same.
Read or ask dedicated sources instead of going to sites like this before believing everything you’re told.
Child you are perhaps the biggest masturbator of all. Repent!
That made no sense to what he said.
Wow look at all those automatic Pray Against Applied to posts literally seconds after they are posted. Must keep all the ‘true’ posts for the ‘dedicated’ members ay.
So that’s what they mean by self-pollution…
This can’t be for real. This website has to be satire. Are people really this stupid? If so, my faith in humanity is lost.
#guiltyhands
It’s funny because even religious bigots masturbate. They just deny it.
Speaking from experience I suppose. #guiltyselfrapingmasturbator
Lol. I admit it, I touch myself…
And I enjoy every minute of it
…… I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself.
I think everyone that knows me knows I’m a perv 😉
“Level of self rape residue in atmosphere”. Honnestly, I didn’t have a thorough look on this site but if you are serious, you’re cleary way too high. Imaginig that when you cum things goes in the same way as fungus spores wahou men, seriously (that make me feel so worried) !!! I warn you ! If you really think that reaching your end in masturbating acts like a spray, I am deeply sorry to announce you that you are breathing my “intimacy” for two decades by now. And I live in Europe. Let you imagine. Becarefull when the wind blows… Read more »
This has to be a troll site lol!
cool, i found a cult today
Where?
How is it self rape if my hamd and my dick both want it? This is very inaccurate
THis website makes me laugh so hard, thanks for the comedic value 😀
Don’t be stupid. Sex that isn’t rape involves two consenting adults. When you masturbate, there is only one consenting adult. Therefore it is obviously rape. Read a book. Duh.
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Oh man, this site is hilarious!
Jesus Jerked off as a teenager.
I’m sad this is what humanity has been reduced to. Please every single one of you who used this abysmal joke of a site seriously, end your own life
Can you guys provide me with an 18 year old female to have sex with instead of masturbating?
As a young man that was sexually assaulted in the military, I am shaking with anger that you would appropriate the word ‘self-rape’ for your own cause.
People touch themselves of their own God-given will, there is no rape about it.
Please remove this offensive title from your charts, or I will be forced to bring you up at my next vet meeting.
wait is this site for real?
I HOPE THIS ISNT A PARODY ORGANIZATION HAHAHHAHA LMAO
I have changed because of this!
Anyways anyone know any good sex toys so I can masturbate?
Atmospheric Masturbatory Residue?? Even by the VERY low standards of this site. That’s a laughable claim. That single working braincell of yours, must be VERY lonely indeed
Hi Lonnie! Big Masturbation here. I’m just here to clarify that this map is false, as you know already Satan has given us the power to mind control everyone in the world to rub out a good one into the sky to spread their “Masturbatory Residue” into the air to brainwash non-suspecting bystanders. So the entire United States needs to be bright red. Consider telling Fred at NASA to stop beating one off and actually do his job correctly for once.
‘Facts’ wewlad like give me proof, as far as we can see all you have is ‘religious testaments and laws’ and your own retardation. Big sad, come back when you understand hormone control libtards. Big smh
Keep in mind these are the same people who say that the ozone is fake
Hahahahahahahahahahahaah, are you for serious?
I masturbate to Java code at work. Boss only caught me only once. And he joined. Go checkout my projects.
do you have any pics I can jerk-off to?
Omfg this is fucking hilarious at this point I’m 12 and I’m more mature and educated than you idiots.
If my sister jacks me off while I hold her hand is that incest, masturbation or both?
thank god no one masturbates on the west coast
Lmao! I’m dying
Was on pornhub how did I end up here
Is this a joke? Has to be. Pubic dust? 😂 Atmospheric semen? And you think NASA has anything to do with this? Y’all are retarded
Lol fag
This is HILARIOUS!!! Thank you for the laugh!
I don’t know if this website is a joke or not but masturbation is helpful to remove all your sexual though so that you brain can be focus on what you want.
If animal masturbate, human can do it too.