(STOPMasturbationNOW)– Bushels of mexican children are being bused to Safford Arizona after Texan concentration camps began to overflow. Hundreds of these parentless heathen children are being assigned to the care of Brother Lonnie Childs via the STOP Free Will NOW Summer Camp (featuring Carman Liciardello) Campaign, bless his heart. For […]
LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD, CA (SMNNN) Professional weight loss advocate and part time actor, Jonah Hill told the media that he lost his cool with a masturbator and is completely devastated that he did not work harder to convert them. Liberal Media stronghold, TMZ, released video footage of Hill telling a half […]
According to King Lonald Holy Bible, God told Abraham to circumcise himself, his household and his slaves as a means of discouraging masturbation. For centuries, God-fearing Hebrews have been circumcising their young to promote a healthy, non-masturbatory life style. Typically, they were betrayed by their own kind for few shekels. Chewing circumcised child foreskin as […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMNNN) — Non-normal basketball icon, LeBron James, dodged a bullet last week during the first Game of the NBA Finals in San Antonio, Texas. James, who was forced to ride the bench during the crucial fourth period costing Miami the game, tried to pass the incident off […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMNNN) — Actor Tracy Morgan remains in critical condition but is showing signs of improvement less than 24 hours after the party bus he was riding in was wrecked. Mr. Morgan was able to respond to several questions from investigators today which doctors are saying is […]
(StopMasturbationNow) — A self-rape induced outbreak of EF5 tornadoes swept across the Masturbation Belt this Sunday, June 8, 2014. The damage left by this rash of twisters has been described by local authorities as catastrophic, crippling, savage, and atheist. Over 275 lives were lost and over 3.1 million people […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMNNN) — A party bus driver has been formally charged in relation to an accident that has left popular actor Tracy Morgan in critical condition. Morgan, known for his popular comedy program “Key and Peele” was riding in a party bus driven by a Southeast Party […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SMMNN) – A study by the U.S. Navy, funded by a Big Masturbation shell corporation think tank, has attempted to sully the good name of stunt flying team the ‘Blue Angels’. Amongst the litany of accusations are charges of supporting a Homogay™ lifestyle and sexual harrassment. According […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMMNN) – Snow Mexican entertainer Justin Bieber has become Big Masturbation’s newest whipping boy after a video of him decrying non-normals and promoting abstinence from masturbation was leaked to the press earlier this week. In typical fashion, the media responded by blasting Bieber mercilessly calling his words […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) Just 48 hours after his wife was charged in a bizarre public masturbation incident that sent him to the hospital, it has been leaked that Casey Kasem’s condition has worsened and is now critical in nature. In a story we broke on this netsite […]
