-WATERTOWN CT Using a network of B.L.U.F.F Co. F-Drives (dominate faith-based video gaming system in the U.S.A. market) leading Faithscientists have run a comprehensive mathematical simulation which shows masturbation to be the greatest ecological concern of mankind in 2015. Over twelve F-Drive systems were networked via coaxial cables. Working as […]
-SANFORD, AZ Recent declassified documents released by NASA have been obtained by Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F) and The Foundation For a Better Tomorrow (F.F.A.B.T) . The documents, which date to the Regan administration, may hold the key to unlocking the mystery of The Gay. The 1378 page […]
Can it get any more clear for you?
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMMNN) Pregnant actress Mila Kunis, most notably known for her prescient role in the film ‘Knocked Up’, spoke out recently with a message for men around the globe. During her appearance on the DeKalb, Illinois public access program “Reflections”, Kunis spoke out loudly against the […]
SAFFORD, AZ — (SMMNN) It is with a heavy heart that I am tasked with this update to this holy netsite documenting the latest victims gallery of masturbation casualties. As previously reported by my esteemed colleague, Erich Sean, masturbation kills celebrities in fours and that is a proven Faith Fact™. Unfortunately, we […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FL — (SMNNN) The future of the new technology, known colloquially as “the internet”, is a topic that has gotten a lot of traction lately in both the mainstream media as well as the seedy underbelly of the “‘information superhighway”. Unfortunately, no other netsite has written about […]
FREETOWN, SIERRA LEONE (SMNNN) — The death toll of aid workers killed by those infected in the recent Masturbation Ebola outbreak in Sierra Leone has tripled in the last week. While local health officials were originally concerned with the deaths of those infected with the disease, the concern has turned […]
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. (WHNT) – Sarah Palin, arguably one of the most well-known women in the Republican Party in the last several years, horrified members of the Republican Party and supporters of her presidential campaign by walking on to the stage in full “O” face. Dr. David Copeland, Madison County Superintendent, confirmed […]
(Stop Masturbation NOW Sports)–Soccer was invented when all real sports were so dominated by Americans that all other countries needed to find something to be good at. So they put all of their combined resources together to invent a sport so boring that Americans would rather just not take part […]
Florida – The increase in masturbation by unclean Mexican immigrants while working in Commercial Orange Groves has caused an unprecedented new disease to strike America’s precious store of citrus fruits. The disease, known as Fruitesticling, has infected almost 70% of citrus in Florida over the past few years. It reached California […]
