“Masturbation slowly eliminates the person’s own boundaries and constraints. Most healthy people want to masturbate and also have sex, but don’t/cannot. By indulging in masturbation, you are conditioning the body to always get what it wants. Think of a spoiled child, for example. Once masturbation is no longer enough, sex […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) Popular foodlike product producer “Kraft ‘Foods’” issued a recall of it’s ‘Velveeta Cheese’ product after incredibly high levels of semen were detected. The semen level issue was found after several customer complaints of an incredibly bitter taste began to emerge via the manufacturer’s Facebook […]
After many years of following the false faith of Scientology, the A-list actor has shocked Hollywood by proposing his candidacy for the lead role in the upcoming film “The Passion of Childs”. Directed by a brilliant mind of Myron Danus, the movie details the early years of modern day prophet and the spiritual genius behind […]
B.L.U.F.F AGRIBUSINESS- NEVADA (SMNNN) Recent surveys and polls taken by B.L.U.F.F students show the recent increase of sin-caused cancers, to be directly related to the dramatic rise in masturbation rates since 2002, when the survey began. Masturbation rates have always been historically linked to the rise and fall of civilizations […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) Just days after the unjustified removal of the Stop Masturbation Now Facebook netpage, a mysterious karmic retribution occurred as millions of international users of the netsite were unable to login and harass Lonvidians. Users across the globe were met with an error message on […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) Professional wrestling Hall of Famer, Pete Rose, is seeking a “second chance” 25 years after being the first man banned from professional baseball for excessive masturbation. Rose recently admitted to his wrong doings for the first time ever after a confirmed visit to the […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) The lamestream media has recently made much todo about an incident in January 1961 where two hydrogen bombs fell out of a B-52. As expected, the state controlled media is only giving you part of the story. The “official version” states that the B-52 […]
By Brother Cassidy Pen <B.L.U.F.F. AZ> The Eldership of Brother Lonald’s University of Faith Facts announced a ban on female use of wheeled mouse input devices. This ban includes all makes and models having a scroll wheel, especially those with “click” wheel capabilities, as I will explain. A recent study, […]
“Sin cave cleanliness is next to Lonnieness”- the book of Mons Venus 14:28-King Lonald Holy Bible Women who keep their sin cave free of Satanic Muskinesss will receive eternal salvation from Saint Lonnie. ScLience, along with their partner, Big Masturbation; have spent millions of dollars brainwashing women to not give […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) American War Machine Patriot and National Hero Lt. Col. Oliver North took a shot at the host of a variety show, liberal Jon Stewart, while on his book tour. North, promoting his new book of faith facts, ‘Big Masturbation’s Lies’, let loose condemning Stewart as […]
