Articles by: Cathy Redmond
President Obama showed his true colors as a masturbator at a White House awards ceremony earlier today. The awards ceremony, honoring no longer relevant musician, Linda Ronstadt, for some reason; found Obama just mere inches away from someone he had spent his childhood fantasizing over. At point, Obama reached over […]
Residents of the small Trinity Pines community in Northern California were shocked to learn the cause of a forest fire that destroyed 15 acres of land in early July. The fire, called the ‘West Fire’ by fire officials, was started on July 1st and burned for two days before being […]
Morris Browder had seen a lot in his 115 years on God’s Earth. He lived through the first World War. He lived through the liberal created Great Depression. He lived through the non-normals attacking Hawaii in the 1940s. He even lived through the wars of non-normal aggression in Korea, Vietnam, […]
Jessica King started to notice something was wrong with her prized Golden Retriever, “Rusty”. “Rusty” began eating excessive amounts of dog food and even King’s neighbors noticed that he seemed to be growing larger every day. King, distraught, took “Rusty” to the local veterinarian who was equally baffled. “Rusty”‘s diet […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — (SMNNN) President Barack Obama is under fire from his liberal base after taking time out of his busy schedule to entertain an anti-masturbation bill being proposed by a cadre of conservative politicians. It is noteworthy that the President is making himself available at this time with the […]
I previously discussed popular songs that had a committed message of anti-masturbation; even more rare, however, is the anti-masturbation concept album. Many would think some of these are designed to be listened to whilst going out with a london escort, but that may not be the case. There have been […]
TAMPA, FLA — (SMNNN) Former B movie actor (Muppets from Space, Wrestlemania III) and current belt merchant, Hulk Hogan, received a severe injury to his hand after trying in vain to beat Hugo Lopez’s recent World Record for Masturbation. Hogan, 60, sometimes forgets he’s not the character, Hulk Hogan, that he played […]
SAFFORD, ARIZ. — (SMNNN) Borrowing from a popular anti-prostitution program in Phoenix, Arizona, the Safford, Arizona police department has started Project L.O.N.N.I.E. in an attempt to get masturbators off the streets. Project L.O.N.N.I.E. (Leading Outlaw Non-Normals Into Enlightenment) was ushered in when Lonnie Childs of Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith […]
Every once in a while in the world of popular music, a rebellious artist is able to sneak something past the liberal controlled Government and Big Masturbation censors. Even in the case of two of the songs featured in this article, the artists were able to get the message through after being […]
From time to time Lonnie asks us to share memers on His netsite to better spread the word to your friends and loved normals. Here is another installment of five memers that help spread the love and joy that Lonnie brings all of us each and every day. Print them […]
