Death / Faith Graph / Lonnie Childs / Science / Self-Rape Prevention

Explosion at B.L.U.F.F. Graphcenter Kills Two

 

SAFFORD, ARIZONA. B.L.U.F.F GRAPHCENTER (SMNNN)

A terrible explosion ripped it’s way across the B.L.U.F.F Graphcenter at 2:32 a.m. on July 20th, 2014, killing two interns and wounding dozens.

The B.L.U.F.F Graphcenter, state of the art graph production center, is the most expensive graph production facility in the world. Officials believe the explosion, which was rated at 7.4 megatons, originated in the hyper-coolant tower, located south of the reactor building. Says B.L.U.F.F mechanical supervisor Merle Chimball, ” There was a huge BANG noise, and then smoke was pouring all outta windows and such. At first we didn’t know what in Tarnation was going’ on, but soon it was pretty obvious there was a big ol’ ‘splosion. ”

The explosion is thought to have been caused by “crunching the numbers” for the latest graph which compares Japanese masturbation levels to those of the rest of the world. It is suspected that the astronomical rates of Japanese masturbation were “too much” for the Graphcenter’s reactor core, causing an uncontrolled meltdown, which liquified the coolant tower conduits.

Two interns were killed in the explosion, and two pro-self-rape hecklers, Mr. Chris Sheely and Mrs.  Keldon Ross were horribly injured in the explosion. It is unknown if the hecklers were involved in any terrorism at this time. Says Lonnie Childs, Illustrious Leader of Stop Masturbation Now Ministries, ” We don’t know if the hecklers are responsible, and we may never know. There isn’t much left of either of them. We’re not even sure it’s the hecklers we have in the infirmary. They are pretty messed up, whoever they are. ”

The interns were vaporized on the spot, and as such, identifying them is impossible.

The damage to the B.L.U.F.F Graphcenter is minimal, but due to the high-tech nature of the facility, repair costs are estimated into the lower tens of billions of USD.

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Nucky Goldberg
Nucky Goldberg
6 years ago

Biggest prayers going out.

augustweisz
Admin
6 years ago

Hopefully we can qualify for government funding again.

Lonnie Childs
Admin
6 years ago

When do the new interns start?

Cathy Redmond
6 years ago

I hope this won’t slow the production of new Faith Graphs. Praying for the speedy repair of the damaged equipment.

Praise.

Cassidy Pen
6 years ago

I feel bad for those two interns.

Zachary Battreall (@ThatMetalKid14)

Shout at the devil!

leonni childs is a poes and a wanker
leonni childs is a poes and a wanker
6 years ago

All of those fuckers should have died you motherfuckers are going to go to hell for being such judgmental close minded cunts fuck you lennoi childs you are a fucking cunt bag you pussy

Sharon Peralta
Sharon Peralta
6 years ago

Sounds like an accident to me. In every Graphcenter explosion I have heard of the cause was a faulty hyper-coolant tower.