Sports

Germany Routs Mexico 7-1

Germany Routs Mexico 7-1

(Stop Masturbation Now)— Germany today routed the Mexican state of Brazil 7-1 in soccer. Germans, using a combination of preserving precious bodily fluids and using only Caucasians proved too much for the very dark skinned Brazilians. At one point in the match Germans scored 4 goals on 10 minutes. A […]

by July 8, 2014 18 comments Sports
Hot New “Wheelin’ and Feelin'” Trend Claims Another Life

Hot New “Wheelin’ and Feelin'” Trend Claims Another Life

Orange County, CA – A family is left grieving and planning arrangements today as the new “Wheelin and Feelin” craze sweeping the nation claims another young life. At approximately 11:15 AM, in sunny Laguna Beach, CA, one child has been pronounced dead and another is injured in what is being […]

by July 8, 2014 31 comments Morals, Sports, Trending
Pete Rose Seeks Second Chance In Baseball After Coming Clean To Lonnie Childs

Pete Rose Seeks Second Chance In Baseball After Coming Clean To Lonnie Childs

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) Professional wrestling Hall of Famer, Pete Rose, is seeking a “second chance” 25 years after being the first man banned from professional baseball for excessive masturbation. Rose recently admitted to his wrong doings for the first time ever after a confirmed visit to the […]

by June 18, 2014 1 comment Celebrity, Sports
SMN World Cup Preview Group B

SMN World Cup Preview Group B

(Stop Masturbation NOW Sports)–Yesterday we previewed world cup Soccer group A . Today we are going to preview group B.   AUSTRALIA Australia is a bunch of criminal island Mexicans. They can’t get mammals right much less sport. Expect australilians to be distracted by indoor plumbing and lights. They wont […]

by June 13, 2014 1 comment Foreigners, Sports
SMN World Cup Preview Group A

SMN World Cup Preview Group A

(Stop Masturbation NOW Sports)–Soccer was invented when all real sports were so dominated by Americans that all other countries needed to find something to be good at. So they put all of their combined resources together to invent a sport so boring that Americans would rather just not take part […]

by June 10, 2014 4 comments Foreigners, Sports
What really caused LeBron James to spend Game 1 on the sidelines.

What really caused LeBron James to spend Game 1 on the sidelines.

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMNNN) — Non-normal basketball icon, LeBron James, dodged a bullet last week during the first Game of the NBA Finals in San Antonio, Texas. James, who was forced to ride the bench during the crucial fourth period costing Miami the game, tried to pass the incident off […]

by June 9, 2014 2 comments Sports
Big Masturbation Begins Smear Campaign Against American Hero ‘Blue Angels’ Flying Team

Big Masturbation Begins Smear Campaign Against American Hero ‘Blue Angels’ Flying Team

  WASHINGTON, D.C. (SMMNN) – A study by the U.S. Navy, funded by a Big Masturbation shell corporation think tank, has attempted to sully the good name of stunt flying team the ‘Blue Angels’. Amongst the litany of accusations are charges of supporting a Homogay™ lifestyle and sexual harrassment. According […]

by June 8, 2014 4 comments Politics, Sports, Trending
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