Post Tagged with: "Children"

Joe, showing off his new mascot at his local BBQ establishment.

One Woman’s Trash, Area Man’s Treasure

Joe Harris, like many other residents of Safford, has been struggling for years to keep his business afloat during the Obama administration. What he needed, he always felt, was a mascot for his restaurant to set him apart from all the others. He never thought, however, that dream would become […]

by January 25, 2017 5 comments Family Values
Introducing the Anti-Masturbation Cross:  Safely Train Your Children To Keep Their Hands Off Their Dangerous Sin-Zones

Introducing the Anti-Masturbation Cross: Safely Train Your Children To Keep Their Hands Off Their Dangerous Sin-Zones

Parents, have you ever imagined your child masturbating? Do you worry what they do when your back is turned? Do you fear that they will fall into the grip of Satan? Worry no more! Introducing the Anti-Masturbation Cross®! Designed by STOP Masturbation NOW engineers, this wondrous restraining device allows you […]

by July 17, 2015 804 comments Morals, Self-Rape Prevention
Jeremy Clarkson is a Black Anus due to his racism.

Bruce Danus Saves Top Gear from the KOK River

A British show about bad motor vehicles, called “Top Gear”, recently traveled to my favorite Third World Country, Thailand/Burma. They ran into many issues, because Jeremy Clarkson is a racist. We all need to pray at Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. While I hate these 3 humans, mainly […]

by November 23, 2014 7 comments Celebrity
Do You Really Want Your Children to Have a Parent That Masturbates?

Do You Really Want Your Children to Have a Parent That Masturbates?

by November 19, 2014 10 comments Family Values
Disturbing Video: Panda Caught Self-raping

Disturbing Video: Panda Caught Self-raping

The Wicked Wildlife Federation, in association with agents from Big Masturbation have released a disturbing video. The grainy, shaking, out-of-focus footage shows a psychotic panda with glazed eyes, oblivious to the world, shaking his sin stick with vigor and reckless abandon until streams of seedy ejaculate are squirted into the air with […]

by October 21, 2014 10 comments Animals
Skittles-The Official Candy of Big Masturbation

Skittles-The Official Candy of Big Masturbation

Many of you know or have heard of Governor Mick Huckleberry of Arkansas. He has done a mountainous job of exposing the lies and under cover game plan of the far left with his actions when in office and on his current events program on the otherwise liberal fox news […]

by October 13, 2014 4 comments Big Masturbation
Mother Milk, A Good Start For Your Child?

Mother Milk, A Good Start For Your Child?

We all know eating the wrong food has many unhealthy side effects, like heart disease and cancer.  But no one knew indulging the wrong foods also ensures one will surrender quickly to the sinful pleasures of masturbation. The earlier a child eats the wrong foods, the more harmful consequences in […]

by October 9, 2014 9 comments Family Values
The Finger Sniff Test-Where Non-Normal Arguments Fail

The Finger Sniff Test-Where Non-Normal Arguments Fail

B.L.U.F.F. – My Dear Friends in Christ, you have been recently enlightened on this Holy Webpage with guidelines to prevent masturbation in your young daughter’s life. The B.L.U.F.F. Finger Sniff Test was presented with the blessings of the Faith Facts Eldership. It has also been proven to be a most […]

by October 6, 2014 19 comments Self-Rape Prevention
Queen-Live at the Rainbow ‘74

Queen-Live at the Rainbow ‘74

We may have figured we’d heard the last of them, but the sinister homosexual noise band, Queen, has released another splattering of dread onto the faces of the public. The deeply offensive tracks in their current live album were actually taken from a concert that occurred years ago. The music […]

by September 24, 2014 4 comments Celebrity
NFL Superstar, Adrian Peterson, Arrested for Spanking “The Gay” Out of His Son

NFL Superstar, Adrian Peterson, Arrested for Spanking “The Gay” Out of His Son

  Last week, Minnesota Vikings quarterback, Adrian Peterson, was arrested in his hometown for a mysterious domestic violence charge. This came on the heals of Jerry Rice’s suspension and dismissal from the Baltimore colts for disciplining his wife in an Atlantic City elevator. Today, the Cobb County prosecutor announced that […]

by September 16, 2014 9 comments Celebrity
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