Post Tagged with: "faith facts"

Shameful Dad Walks in on His Daughter Masturbating and Does Nothing to Help Her!

Shameful Dad Walks in on His Daughter Masturbating and Does Nothing to Help Her!

By Nigel J. Covington III Sex Expert October 17, 2018 Dear Nigel, I walked in on my daughter when she was masturbating the other day. I was shocked, but I said nothing — I simply left the room. I have not discussed this with her or with my wife since. […]

BLUFF Turns Away Syrian Self-Rapists

BLUFF Turns Away Syrian Self-Rapists

SAFFORD-AZ Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts (BLUFF) has vowed not to accept any refugees from Syria into their campus in response to the revelation that masturbators may have entered Europe as part of a wave of migrants from the war-torn region. The move complicates the Obama administration’s plan to accept […]

by November 17, 2015 2 comments Foreigners
We stand with Lonnie!!!

Introducing Brother Lonnie’s Approved Prosthetic Limbs For Masturbatory Amputees

In a world where masturbation has run rampant, more and more people are having their arms or hands amputated due to masturbation injuries and diseases. While we do not approve of the activities that self-rapists involve themselves in, we do still care about the human species and the blacks, so […]

by January 11, 2015 20 comments Disciples
(image source: By Thue (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)

100% Of All Car Accidents Are Caused By Masturbators

The world’s last great think tank, The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow, recently finished an 18-month study on the root cause of automobile accidents. The results they found, while predictable, were still shocking to the average American who still has not accepted Lonnie Childs as their personal anti-masturbation savior. Car […]

by November 13, 2014 18 comments Death, Faith Graph, Lonnie Childs, Morals
Study Confirms B.L.U.F.F. Men Have Larger Penis Size

Study Confirms B.L.U.F.F. Men Have Larger Penis Size

BLUFF HQ-STAFFORD, AZ – A recent study just concluded by Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) in association with The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow has confirmed what we at the SMN Ministry knew all along – the men of B.L.U.F.F. have substantially larger penis sizes than those of […]

by September 7, 2014 31 comments Faith Fact Series
“Supermoon” Caused By Masturbation?

“Supermoon” Caused By Masturbation?

Faith scientists have been working around the clock to get the word out that the recent “supermoon” is actually an anomaly to be feared. While mainstream sciLIEnce likes to describe the alleged “supermoon” as relatively harmless and “just” the closest the moon comes to Earth during its alleged orbit around Earth, […]

by August 11, 2014 13 comments Science, Trending
Profile of a Masturbation Disease: Hypertrichosis (MHB)

Profile of a Masturbation Disease: Hypertrichosis (MHB)

Overview & Faith Facts™: Hypertrichosis, or “Masturbator’s Hairy Body” (MHB) as it is usually called, is known to have affected millions of individuals throughout recorded history. Early on, MHB afflicted individuals were thought to be “wolfmen” that were shapeshifters. Thankfully around the early 1960s, Lonnie Childs and his team of researchers […]

by July 6, 2014 23 comments Morals
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