WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) The lamestream media has recently made much todo about an incident in January 1961 where two hydrogen bombs fell out of a B-52. As expected, the state controlled media is only giving you part of the story. The “official version” states that the B-52 […]
By Brother Cassidy Pen <B.L.U.F.F. AZ> The Eldership of Brother Lonald’s University of Faith Facts announced a ban on female use of wheeled mouse input devices. This ban includes all makes and models having a scroll wheel, especially those with “click” wheel capabilities, as I will explain. A recent study, […]
“Sin cave cleanliness is next to Lonnieness”- the book of Mons Venus 14:28-King Lonald Holy Bible Women who keep their sin cave free of Satanic Muskinesss will receive eternal salvation from Saint Lonnie. ScLience, along with their partner, Big Masturbation; have spent millions of dollars brainwashing women to not give […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) American War Machine Patriot and National Hero Lt. Col. Oliver North took a shot at the host of a variety show, liberal Jon Stewart, while on his book tour. North, promoting his new book of faith facts, ‘Big Masturbation’s Lies’, let loose condemning Stewart as […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) An unnamed source that claims to have infiltrated into the shady Big Masturbation organization has asserted that the group plans to use “crisis actors” to derail discussion on the newly christened Stop Masturbation Now Facebook netpage. For the uninitiated, ‘crisis actors’ are hired guns […]
As a devout Lonvidian, I take my religion seriously and regularly attend a Sunday afternoon prayer group. After the prayers are finished, the group either heads to the local cineplex or to the church auditorium to watch one of many documentary films to teach us new things about our faith. […]
HOLLYWOOD- CALIFORNIA (SMNNN) The religious activism organization of children “Childs Youth”, (named for our savior Lonald Childs), released a statement today saying they have converted noteable homogay, Micheal Bay (Director of many blockbuster films, such as Planet of the Apes; Dark of the Moon, and Captain America: The Amazing Spiderman […]
WATERTOWN-CT (SMNNN) Using the same supercomputer used to predict the 400% increase in natural disasters in 2015, the same leading faithscientists have announced they have run another simulation, which this time also predicts a 400% rise in super-natural disasters. The super-computer, which was comprised of twelve F-Drive ( dominant faith-based […]
CNNT) — Hillary Clinton may not be in power these days – but she still commands an army of self-raping fans. Even some of them were shocked this week when she reported that, as of Saturday, June 14th, 20014, Father’s Day is officially canceled. “I don’t see any reason why we […]
FITZROY CROSSING, AUSTRALIA — (SMNNN) A group of children loyal to the growing “Stop Masturbation Now, Australia!” movement took over a radio station in Fitzroy Crossing last week. The gang of children, aged 6 to 11, who refer to themselves as “Childs Youth” in a nod to our savior, Lonnie […]
