[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkMNOlYcpHg](STOPMasturbationNOW)– Kim Jong Un has achieved yet another level of mass mind control success after closing a music deal with Snoop Doggy Dogg to release a mind control song and take over all of North America and Lesser Mexican America. The song entitled Hangover was written with subliminal Korean messages […]
(Stop Masturbation NOW Sports)–Yesterday we previewed world cup Soccer group A . Today we are going to preview group B. AUSTRALIA Australia is a bunch of criminal island Mexicans. They can’t get mammals right much less sport. Expect australilians to be distracted by indoor plumbing and lights. They wont […]
Han Solo, also known by his Hollywood slave name “Harrison Ford”, was apparently injured in a freak accident on the set of the currently filming Star Wars sequel. As this was a Hollywood production, speculation quickly turned to confirmation that the accident was a direct result of careless on-set masturbation […]
CANNES, FREEDOM — (SMNNN) Hollywood slave “Leonardo DiCaprio”, probably best known for his role as the titular Private Ryan in ‘Saving Private Ryan’, snubbed recently baptized and confirmed Lonvidian, Justin Bieber, over the weekend. Bieber, now operating on behalf of the Stop Masturbation Now Ministries, was on a conversion and […]
-WATERTOWN CT Using a network of B.L.U.F.F Co. F-Drives (dominate faith-based video gaming system in the U.S.A. market) leading Faithscientists have run a comprehensive mathematical simulation which shows masturbation to be the greatest ecological concern of mankind in 2015. Over twelve F-Drive systems were networked via coaxial cables. Working as […]
-SANFORD, AZ Recent declassified documents released by NASA have been obtained by Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F) and The Foundation For a Better Tomorrow (F.F.A.B.T) . The documents, which date to the Regan administration, may hold the key to unlocking the mystery of The Gay. The 1378 page […]
Can it get any more clear for you?
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMMNN) Pregnant actress Mila Kunis, most notably known for her prescient role in the film ‘Knocked Up’, spoke out recently with a message for men around the globe. During her appearance on the DeKalb, Illinois public access program “Reflections”, Kunis spoke out loudly against the […]
SAFFORD, AZ — (SMMNN) It is with a heavy heart that I am tasked with this update to this holy netsite documenting the latest victims gallery of masturbation casualties. As previously reported by my esteemed colleague, Erich Sean, masturbation kills celebrities in fours and that is a proven Faith Fact™. Unfortunately, we […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FL — (SMNNN) The future of the new technology, known colloquially as “the internet”, is a topic that has gotten a lot of traction lately in both the mainstream media as well as the seedy underbelly of the “‘information superhighway”. Unfortunately, no other netsite has written about […]
