Morals / Self-Rape Prevention / Spot a Masturbator

“Pornography? On MY SON’S Computer?”

**BREAKING MASTURBATION ALERT**

Parents, it has recently come to my attention that pornograpics, i.e., explicit sexual material, can be found on the World Wideweb (www).  Have you ever wondered what your son is doing whenever you are not around?  Chances are he is locked away in his bedroom, self-raping to pornographics.

Sadly, the World Wideweb (www) is not just an innocent place used for taxes, Scripture study and holy netsites such as STOP Masturbation NOW.  If your son is desperate enough, if he is depraved enough, and if he is gay enough, he can use the Google* search engine to comb the darkest corners of the internet where these pornographics are found.

It is your Godly duty to protect your son from the dangers of masturbation.  You must install hidden cameras in his room and monitor them remotely.  When the self-rape occurs, turn over the damning footage to your local police, church and news stations.  The shame and embarrassment of being outed as a pathetic masturbator will give him the courage to ignore the siren song of self-rape in the future and put him on a righteous path towards Christ!  Praise!

 

 

*please consider using the morally superior, pornographics free, BING® search engine.

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Carlos Danger
7 years ago

I was searching my son’s computer and came across a folder titled “not pornographics”. I was shocked to discover it was indeed full of pornographics. When he’s allowed back on the computer sometime in 2019 he will be a faithful Bing user.

I'lltouchit.
I'lltouchit.
7 years ago
Reply to  Carlos Danger

Keepin’ em out of the dark corners of the internets will prevent chafing skin.

Faithgasming
Faithgasming
7 years ago

I gave been watching my son self rape for a while know but need some direction as to what to do about. I have an anti masturbation cross on order but fear it is to late for him. Guidance and praise please

Faithgasming
Faithgasming
7 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

I have a few of his actions on his lesser gendered parents phone, we were waiting for a more dedicated team to view them. But yes Lonnie, We will shame him tomorrow at school. We will ask the headmaster if we can project it on a screen at an assembly of the whole school. Praise be with you

Zachary Battreall (@ThatMetalKid14)
Reply to  Faithgasming

why the hell would the headmaster allow you to show every student, at the school, porn?

Faithgasming
Faithgasming
7 years ago

I have spoken to his headmaster and he is very eager to see it.

@ThatMetalKid14
7 years ago

that’s really fucking nasty

The Fornicator
The Fornicator
7 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

You just suggested the production and distribution of child pornography. You should be ashamed of yourself

The Fornicator
The Fornicator
7 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

Oh, and by definition, one cannot rape ones self, as rape requires a lack of consent. You people make me sick. Can you explain why in God’s name you are so against masturbation? And why you are so intent on making children resent their parents for making them repress a perfectly natural urge? (And yes, I did take the Lord’s name in vain just to antagonise you)

Here’s a site that you should check out: http://www.xnxx.com well, there’s no child porn there, but you hypocrites should still be able to enjoy it

Faithgasming
Faithgasming
7 years ago
Reply to  The Fornicator

Well the boys headmaster has praised us for bringing this unholy practice to his attention, he will be holding an emergency assembly of the whole school tomorrow to teach all the kids about the dangers of self raping. And as for your suggestion, why say there is no child porn? Is that the sort of thing you’re into? People like you should be locked up for a long time. Enjoy triple hell, sicko!!

Jean
Jean
7 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

That would be considered child pornographic exploitation. You will be arrested.

I'lltouchit.
I'lltouchit.
7 years ago
Reply to  Faithgasming

Just continue to watch until he is embarrassed.

augustweisz
Admin
7 years ago

how come smut on the internets is not illegal? It needs to be illegal!

Ifuckedaugustweisz
Ifuckedaugustweisz
7 years ago
Reply to  augustweisz

Because fuck you, that’s why.

steve shand
steve shand
7 years ago

I found a site on my son’s computer called ” Thai Girls ” it seems innocent enough? Very pretty girls.

Matt Perkins
Matt Perkins
7 years ago

Those poor children having to live a life of sin because of their parents mistakes 🙁

dexterbattygarteniii
7 years ago

I used to be addicted to the tittyporno but now im found. praise Lonnie.

I'lltouchit.
I'lltouchit.
7 years ago

A strong addickion.

iwillandyoucan'tstopme
iwillandyoucan'tstopme
1 month ago
Reply to  I'lltouchit.

pff- oh my god-

Truffle
7 years ago

I enjoy a good old fashioned public, tar and feathering. You can’t beat it for the humiliation factor. It makes them think twice before repeat self-raping.

Cathy Redmond
7 years ago

We need to keep these bad graphics off of the computers that the younger generation are using to learn about the world. Lonnie willing, every pornographic will be replaced with a faithgraphic before the end of this decade.

Praise.

Danny
Danny
7 years ago
Reply to  Cathy Redmond

I’m self raping myself so hard right now.

Cathy Redmond
7 years ago
Reply to  Danny

If you think that impresses me, you’re sorely mistaken.

Kaleb Sakamoto
7 years ago

I dunno about you guys, but if my parents ever recorded me masturbating I’d probably put them both in jail where they belong for filming child pornography. If you think schools or news stations will air child pornography you’re probably better off in jail anyways. At least you’ll stop several inmates from self-raping, because they’ll be raping you instead.

But seriously though, you should really try sending videos of your children masturbating to the police. I’m sure they’ll arrest your child and teach him a lesson about his dangerous sin zones.

Brian
Brian
7 years ago
Reply to  Kaleb Sakamoto

I completely agree!!

Brian
Brian
7 years ago

Are you serious? Self rape? Masterbation is normal people and if you think your children shouldn’t do it then talk to them about it don’t embarrass them. You are the pervert if you are video taping your son jerk off. And maybe you should pray for me too cuz I jerk off everyday…. As a matter a fact I’m about to go jerk off right now to catholic girls getting gangbanged by a big black dicks!! Whoever really listens to this site is a dumbass…

Stephen
Stephen
7 years ago
Reply to  Brian

I completely agree. These people need mental help.

Shae
Shae
7 years ago
Reply to  Brian

The people that think this site is for real is freaking stupid. It’s so obvious this site is for fun, they don’t need to “shut it down.”

Faithgasming
Faithgasming
7 years ago
Reply to  Brian

I will pray for you very hard.

Cassidy Pen
7 years ago

I think there’s some on my son’s device. I’ll need to borrow ol’ Frank;s pornograph to make sure.

El Masturbator
El Masturbator
7 years ago

I found pornographics on my son’s computer, installed cameras and sent the footage to the police. They arrested me for producing Child pornographics! What has this world come to where a parent can’t record their kid whackin off? Everyone start petitions in your regions to legalize this, delusional religious fucks unite!

Faithgasming
Faithgasming
7 years ago
Reply to  El Masturbator

It’s because most of the police are self rapers themselves and ashamed of themselves for being so. Good suggestion, I will set up a petition on change.org.

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
7 years ago

Hopefully some blue hat hacksters get on this and make some trojans that change all of the pornographics into pictures of Jesus doing good and nuns being nuns. I love nuns.

datfap
datfap
7 years ago

happy 11th september ^w^

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
7 years ago
Reply to  datfap

Thanks, I think. But you’re a little early.

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  Bono Reznor

Is that your Birthday, Brother Bono?

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
7 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

No. I don’t think anything important has happened on that day either. Just some random day the masturbator saw in his masturbation created fugue state.

Dave
Dave
7 years ago

This simply cannot be real. This is a natural part of growing up. Please tell me you lot are taking the piss.

Joop van der Smut
Joop van der Smut
7 years ago
Reply to  Dave

In the Europe because we to be wearing the tight underpants, self-rape is please to be the natural. Angela Merkel, please to help with my Devil’s Stick?

Sharon Peralta
Sharon Peralta
7 years ago

I noticed my son’s internet history file said bestfreecamgirls. I video taped him on this site self raping. I got on my son’s phone and sent the video to a girl he has been texting. When she stops texting him and I tell him what I did, He will see girls don’t like pornographics.

Didde
Didde
7 years ago
Reply to  Sharon Peralta

Girls do like porn (I am an example. Especially if there is other girls involved) We don’t like that their fucking creepy ass christian parents send them a video of the person you are texting jerking off!

Darkblitzfrenzy
Darkblitzfrenzy
7 years ago

Oh silly SMN. The interwebs have never been a place of innocence. Well, at least not until memes and 4chan gained popularity.
Google is master search engine also.

Darkblitzfrenzy
Darkblitzfrenzy
7 years ago

And Pornography has been on the internet for a very long time. almost any adult that has been on the internets knows about it. But I, for one do not support the porn industry. I believe that we should ban pornography so that that the only thing people can fap to will be hentai and furries.

Truffle
7 years ago

You need Lonnie Childs to fill you up with love, until it flows out of every orifice. Cartoons and men in bear suits is more depraved than watching the HomoGays incestualising!

Praying AT you.

Darkblitzfrenzy
Darkblitzfrenzy
7 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

I really don’t think I need to raped in every hole by a man who life is this website. Infact, I believe thats how Lonald gets people to join his cult. He rapes them and threatens to do it again if they don’t worship him. Really what you all need is love of Jesus H.Christ

John Doe
John Doe
7 years ago

This crap is retarded. For one j***ing off is something EVERYBODY does at least once. And for another, it has been proven j***ing off is completely normal. Now I don’t agree with young people being able being able to access porn, but this is bullsh*t pure bullsh*t.

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
7 years ago
Reply to  John Doe

Why do you hate America?

Darkblitzfrenzy
Darkblitzfrenzy
7 years ago
Reply to  Bono Reznor

Sir, this man does not hate good ol’ Murica. I believe he hates you and everyone associated with this site

Didde
Didde
7 years ago
Reply to  Bono Reznor

America fucking sucks!

Abdulla the Masturbator
Abdulla the Masturbator
7 years ago

Hello! I just wanted to say, Go fuck yourself. And by the way God doesn’t exist.

Little
Little
7 years ago

I thought this website was serious, (and disgusting) until I read this. Now I am not so sure, is this whole thing a joke? Or is it just this article? I mean, really? Did someone only just discover porn?

ramy swelim
ramy swelim
7 years ago

Porn is a part from life like every temptation on this planet, I agree with you masturbation is a sin but it’s a part in our life to stop prostate cancer, well its a say cancer or not, cancer is killing hundreds of people in a day the only way is masturbate once a day it’s the only cure from this vile cancer from Satan him self, Satan’s cruel demise is to kill you in the name of God, God wrote in the scripture “deny the name of heaven deny the name of hell, you shall be there in a… Read more »

A Christian man
A Christian man
7 years ago

Uuuuugh porn on a computer, what’s next, a black president.