Post Tagged with: "Anti-Masturbation Cross"

From supreme gentlemen to masturarchy supremacist all in a matter of months! #Yesallmasturbatorsrape

[Opinion]: Anti-Masturbation Is the Only Logical Stance for Feminists to Take on the Issue of Self-Rape

It is not often that the shrill caterwauling of the socially destructive feminist movement could ever be considered to hold something in common with socially responsible Christian conservatism, yet on the subject of self-rape we really should be natural bedfellows [figuratively speaking, of course]. You see, the group that masturbation […]

Introducing the STOP Masturbation NOW Anti-Masturbation Strait Jacket®

Introducing the STOP Masturbation NOW Anti-Masturbation Strait Jacket®

When was the last time you imagined your child masturbating? Not a pleasant thought, is it? From the creators of the wildly successful Anti-Masturbation Cross® comes latest in faith-based self-rape prevention technology, the Anti-Masturbation Strait-Jacket®!  Peace of mind is yours when you strap your little one into this miracle of modern […]

by May 4, 2020 134 comments Self-Rape Prevention
Jesus And The First Anti-Masturbation Cross®

Jesus And The First Anti-Masturbation Cross®

This Easter as you enjoy quality time with your same-race family, it is important that you remember the reason for the season.  Reflect upon the sacrifice that Jesus made for us all by allowing Himself to die a painful, humiliating death nailed to the first Anti-Masturbation Cross® in order to forgive […]

by March 25, 2016 32 comments History
The SMN Ethnic Outreach Program Reaches Mexicans With La Anti-Masturbación Cross®

The SMN Ethnic Outreach Program Reaches Mexicans With La Anti-Masturbación Cross®

Los padres, has lo que nunca imaginó que su hijo masturbándose? ¿Le preocupa lo que hacen cuando vuelves la espalda? ¿Tienes miedo de que van a caer en las garras de Satanás?No te preocupes más! Presentación de la Anti-Masturbación Cross®! Diseñado por PARADA Masturbación EMPRESA ingenieros, este dispositivo de restricción […]

by October 19, 2015 9 comments Foreigners
Save Masturbators From Hell This Halloween!

Save Masturbators From Hell This Halloween!

Today is Halloween and while most moral Christians will be hunkered down in their homes with their children, Bibles and guns clutched close, the secular world will send their children up to stranger’s doors begging for handouts like the Obama-Socialist zombies they are. This year, we fight back! As Christians, […]

by October 31, 2014 24 comments Family Values
It’s never too early to save their soul

It’s never too early to save their soul

The FaithFact Engineers have finally solved the age old dilemma of how to teach your infant not to masturbate. With this effective, yet stylishly functional centerpiece, you can proudly display your self-rape free Christian values and keep an eye on your little ones while keeping Satan from tempting them to […]

SMN Introduces Uncle Lonnie’s “No-Wankie Blankie”

SMN Introduces Uncle Lonnie’s “No-Wankie Blankie”

Parents, Do you ever lie awake at night worrying your children are masturbating? I know I sure did, that was until I started tucking my 23 Same Race Normal Children to bed safely wrapped up in the Uncle Lonnie’s “No-Wankie Blankie”. Now I can rest assured that my boys will […]

Sorry, lesser gendered campound member; the LonBot2000 is seeing red. Back to the Menstrual Hut with you!

3 Amazing Pieces Of Anti-Masturbation Technology

Just this past month of May in this, our year of America 2014, Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts had it’s first annual Technology Month. It was a grand affair that culminated in showcasing some cutting edge technology in the fight against masturbation. Today, I’m focusing on three incredible innovations […]

by July 14, 2014 25 comments History, Trending
Mark Zuckerberg Insanely Jealous of Lonnie Childs

Mark Zuckerberg Insanely Jealous of Lonnie Childs

Friday the 27th of June, in the year of our Lonnie, will forever go down in infamy at B.L.U.F.F.  The jealous wrath of Mark FFuckerb Zuckerberg came down on our beloved savior, Lonnie Childs.  Lonnie’s post about the Masturbation Cross or as I prefer to call it, the Celestial Papoose, […]

Evil Masturbation Terrorists Caught at Border

Evil Masturbation Terrorists Caught at Border

Yo Quiero, TX — Security agents from Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) have been sent to patrol the border and deal with a dangerous faction of illegal immigrants. The announcement comes at a time when US Border Patrol Agents report an increase in masturbation terrorists crossing into the […]

by July 12, 2014 9 comments Politics
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