Rejoice brothers and sisters! A moment of righteous vindication is upon us. After weeks of false accusations and liberal media criticism, Brother Lonnie’s Bleach Away The Sin therapy for children of dangerous minorities is exceeding all expectations! Hours after an incentive program was introduced guaranteeing certain benefits for the parents of enrolled children, the […]
Just one look at this netsite’s “Masturhaters” gallery or even just a quick glance at the comments on any given article show that there is an increasing problem with masturbators using the anonymity of the internet to spew hatred towards the followers of Lonnie Childs. Thankfully, this will soon end […]
Once again, fall is approaching. As a husband and as a father, you may hear rumblings about a “Sweet Sixteen” celebration. Below are a few ideas that are sure to make your sixteen-year-old, same-race wife very happy. 1. Tell her that she can decide what’s for dinner on […]
Every once in a while, a wholesome reader will send a message to us here at SMN.ORG to ask a personal question, or to ask for honest advice in a particularly troubling situation. In this case, a housewife from Virginia writes – “Dear Lonnie, I am a little embarrassed to […]
TUCSON ARIZONA (SMNNN) Big Masturbation’s latest venture, the Community-Linked Integrated Transit System of Tucson (C.L.I.T.T), is set to be protested by Child’s Youth, the under-aged group of religious activists who are so named for Lonald “Lonnie” Childs. The C.L.I.T.T, which is being misrepresented as a transportation system, is actually a […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— No cure, 80% mortality rate, very contagious, a painful death. We are talking about Ebola, possibly the most dangerous disease known to man. Obama is having two infected Doctors brought to the US. Why would someone bring a highly infectious disease to the United States on purpose? There is […]
Stop Masturbation Now Ministries led by our spiritual leader Brother Lonald “Lonnie” Childs has been at the forefront of masturbation FaithScience and has made numerous advancements and FaithDiscoveries regarding our knowledge of self-rape. For instance it was our own FaithScientists along with Brother Lonnie’s fervent prayers that discovered that masturbation […]
SAFFORD- ARIZONA (SMNNN) In a revelation, His Resplendence Saint Lonnie Childs has decreed motor scooters to be the most Holy of all motorcycles. Brother Lonnie stated that he was visited by a beautiful seraphim, which along with granting Brother Lonnie The Secret of The Universe, also decreed scooters to be […]
Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Friends don’t let Friends Masturbate. Do you or someone you love masturbate? Help is Here God Bless, […]
My dear friends in Christ. My daily street ministry preaching Brother Lonnie’s SMN message takes me frequently to the local Adult Book/Head Shop in my town’s downtown area. The best ears for Lonnie’s Holy Word are those most infected with sin. Here’s the truth. Masturbation IS a sin, punishable by […]
