Money

Hobby Lobby Employee Sues Over Right to Masturbate

Hobby Lobby Employee Sues Over Right to Masturbate

  A Coral Gables, Florida woman is suing her employer, Hobby Lobby, over their refusal to supply her with what she considers “birth control.” Linda Ferno, a seven year employee at the Coral Gables location of Hobby Lobby was hoping that her employer’s contribution to her government mandated health insurance […]

by July 20, 2014 14 comments Money, Politics
Now you can do your part to spread the Stop Masturbation Now message

Now you can do your part to spread the Stop Masturbation Now message

These 100% Normal American Made bumper stickers are fresh off the presses at the BLUFF Ministries Print Shop, we’ve indentured…..I mean adopted 2000 of the child refugees from the INS in Arizona and gave them a job in our print shop making these bumper stickers.  Each sticker cost only $1.99 […]

by July 17, 2014 6 comments Money
Real Fappy is coming soon!

Monsanto and B.L.U.F.F To Create Actual Fappy Mascot

SAFFORD-ARIZONA (SMNNN) Brother Dr. Skippy Enis, B.L.U.F.F liaison to Monsanto Company announced today that the huge multi-national poison, tasty food, and G.M.O, super corporation, has begun production of the first human/dolphin chimera. Says Dr. Enis, ” Brother Lonnie Childs himself, and his personal attache Doug Pinnick, have been in talks […]

by July 10, 2014 9 comments Disciples, Fappy, Money, Morals, Trending
ESPN Starts Smut Magazine To Avoid Bankruptcy

ESPN Starts Smut Magazine To Avoid Bankruptcy

WEST SACRAMENTO, CALIF. — (SMNNN)   As the interest in professional sports continues to wane in the United States, ESPN has attempted to be proactive in their approach to avoid otherwise inevitable bankruptcy. Instead of trying to create interesting and provocative programming on their multiple television networks; ESPN has chosen […]

by July 9, 2014 7 comments Money, Morals, Sports, Trending
T-Mobile Adds ‘Morality Fee’; Sued By U.S. Federal Trade Commission

T-Mobile Adds ‘Morality Fee’; Sued By U.S. Federal Trade Commission

WASHINGTON, D.C., AMERICA — (SMNNN) The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) sued popular wireless carrier, T-Mobile USA Inc. today, accusing T-Mobile of billing their users for hundreds of millions of dollars in “false” charges on their bills. According to the FTC, the vast majority of the charges were in the form […]

by July 1, 2014 11 comments Money, Morals, Politics
Depraved Twitter User Hides Masturbation Supplies On College Campus

Depraved Twitter User Hides Masturbation Supplies On College Campus

SACRAMENTO, CALIF. — (SMNNN) A user on the popular world wide web netsite “Twitter” hid 18 hidden caches of masturbation supplies on the Sacramento State University college campus early Tuesday morning. Multiple Sacramento State students and unrepentant masturbators in the city of Sacramento flocked to the campus to search for the […]

by June 24, 2014 7 comments Money, Politics
The Clean Sin Cave

The Clean Sin Cave

“Sin cave cleanliness is next to Lonnieness”- the book of Mons Venus 14:28-King Lonald Holy Bible Women who keep their sin cave free of Satanic Muskinesss will receive eternal salvation from Saint Lonnie. ScLience, along with their partner, Big Masturbation; have spent millions of dollars brainwashing women to not give […]

Most men and gay females find the thigh gap irresistible

Thigh Gap and Masturbation

(StopMasturbationNOW)–It is well known that men prefer women with a thigh gap. The thigh gap is a symbol of innocence and purity as the willingness and readiness to procreate are visibly seen. Unfortunately  masturbation causes a buildup of fat and muscle around the thigh area from an overage of orgasms. […]

by May 8, 2014 14 comments Gateway Drug, Money, Science
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