SMN -My dear friends in Christ. As you are well aware, the fight against the sin of self rape is an ongoing process, one that is never finished. The holy bible, being the first and only needed reference on the topic of morality, contains certain instructions and responsibilities that Christian […]
At first glance, this looks like a happy couple, sharing in the afterglow of wedded bliss. But…look closer. Notice anything…disturbing? Notice anything…unnatural? Notice anything…that God would disapprove of? The reason why this photo of this unholy matrimony makes your skin crawl is because both of these people are MASTURBATORS. These […]
God Bless, TheRev Leroy Jenkins
WATERTOWN CT- (SMNNN) Masturbation, or self-rape, as the sinful practice of self-sexual gratification is known, has long been a leading cause of death. Over the decades, Hollywood has had more than it’s fair share of auto-erotic-suicides. Here’s a list of the top five. 5)- Ernest Borgnine Mr Borgnine, star […]
SAFFORD- ARIZONA (SMNNN) In a revelation, His Resplendence Saint Lonnie Childs has decreed motor scooters to be the most Holy of all motorcycles. Brother Lonnie stated that he was visited by a beautiful seraphim, which along with granting Brother Lonnie The Secret of The Universe, also decreed scooters to be […]
My dear friends in Christ. My daily street ministry preaching Brother Lonnie’s SMN message takes me frequently to the local Adult Book/Head Shop in my town’s downtown area. The best ears for Lonnie’s Holy Word are those most infected with sin. Here’s the truth. Masturbation IS a sin, punishable by […]
THE ISLAND OF UNITED KINGDOMS- (SMNN) The world’s least funny man, noted filthy atheist Ricky Gervais admitted today, that he is also the world’s most prolific masturbator. Gervais admits to masturbating in excess of 300 times daily. Ricky Gervais, horrible non-humourous atheist, has long been known to be pure […]
Safford, AZ – While many shouted victory in July as their children were picked early at the Choosing of the Flesh, others still mourn the loss of their loved ones to the Unchosen. The annual Day of Choosing at the Campound (see link for this year’s story) is an exciting event for […]
Safford, AZ- In groundbreaking research released today, it was proven that President Barack Obama masturbates more than any other President. The independent research think tank Foundation For a Better Tomorrow detailed months of research that found that the 44th President masturbates at double the rate of the next high-masturbation President. […]
WATERTOWN CT (SMNNN) “ …every song the Grateful Dead wrote was about masturbation, Satan or fornication! Some lyrics: ” Born in the jungle, raised in the lions,den. Numba one occupation, stealin’ wimmens from dey mans.”- One of their songs TRANSLATION: I am a sub-human beastophile. My job […]
