Articles by: Stop Masturbation Now

Lonnie Sends Storm to Liberal New England States to Prove Global Warming a Myth

Lonnie Sends Storm to Liberal New England States to Prove Global Warming a Myth

(StopMasturbationNow)—Our Leader Lonnie in his infinite wisdom and glory has prayed for a winter storm like no other to bury liberal northeastern states. This will once and for all prove that global warming is a liberal hoax. Already called the storm of the century, a Blizzard is currently working its […]

by January 26, 2015 8 comments Weather
5 Things to Think of to Reduce the Urge to Masturbate

5 Things to Think of to Reduce the Urge to Masturbate

(StopMasturbationNow)—A reader recently wrote in: Lonnie, often I find myself getting visually stimulated and then get the urge to masturbate. The problem is I just cannot get the thoughts out of my head. Do you have any tips? Dr. David Ross Dave, this is a very common issue. Mental imagery can […]

by January 21, 2015 24 comments Self-Rape Prevention
SMN will be featured “On the Air with Mike Allen” Wednesday Jan 21

SMN will be featured “On the Air with Mike Allen” Wednesday Jan 21

FOR RELEASE January 20, 2015 Media Contact: info@stopmasturbationnow.org We are pleased to announce that Stop Masturbation will be the featured guest on: On the Air with Mike Allen Wednesday January 21, 2015. Stop Masturbation Now is the premier movement dedicated to ending masturbation, restoring family values, masturbation education, lowering the […]

by January 20, 2015 13 comments Press Release
Doctors Don’t Want You to Know This One Simple Trick for Perfect Health!

Doctors Don’t Want You to Know This One Simple Trick for Perfect Health!

Masturbation is a top ten cause of disease. Don’t be a statistic, don’t masturbate!  

by October 30, 2014 9 comments Clickbait
Which Minority is Destroying America?

Which Minority is Destroying America?

We need to come up with a Final Solution for this minority. Praise!

by October 29, 2014 3 comments Science
In Obama’s America: Pornographic Jack’Off Lanterns

In Obama’s America: Pornographic Jack’Off Lanterns

(StopMasturbationNOW)— What happened to moral America? The America filled with family values, the America of fraternities, sports, the 4th of July, and Christmas? Well… it’s been replaced with filth. And this is not regular dirty Mexican filth, this is smut. Pure pornography. Last week we showed you haw masturbators were […]

2014 Fappy Award for Best Sports Radio Show Goes to Dan Le Batard

2014 Fappy Award for Best Sports Radio Show Goes to Dan Le Batard

(Stop Masturbation Now)—Free and open radio is an often overlooked part of Americana, a thing that makes America better than its socialist neighbors. However, even in today’s liberal culture, occasionally a radio program rises above the rest to shine. Today we would like to honor the Dan Le Batard show […]

by October 22, 2014 0 comments Fappy, Morals, Sports
Study: Masturbation is Directly Related to Lower Wages

Study: Masturbation is Directly Related to Lower Wages

(Stop Masturbation Now)—A new study just released by the foundation for a better tomorrow shows a direct correlation between masturbation and lower wages in America. A two year federally funded study of six thousand Americans across various races, ages and genders was completed in which they looked at average wages […]

by October 21, 2014 18 comments Money, Science
Young Woman Develops Ability to Masturbate to Orgasm with Thought Alone

Young Woman Develops Ability to Masturbate to Orgasm with Thought Alone

(StopMasturbationNOW)— As if female masturbation wasn’t scary enough. It seems a young woman has developed the ability to make herself orgasm without any physical interaction. Meanwhile, there are still too many people that watch Japenese girls get fucked and other stimulating videos to achieve climax, so what’s the trick? 22 […]

by October 7, 2014 6 comments Celebrity, Science
10 Famous People who Died from Masturbation

10 Famous People who Died from Masturbation

(StopMaturbationNOW)—Even though it is proven that masturbation is a top ten cause of disease, it still remains popular among some celebrity circles as “cool” and “hip”. However there is nothing “cool” and “hip” about death. David Carradine David Carradine is an American actor and martial artist, best known for his […]

by September 24, 2014 14 comments Celebrity
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