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Lonvidians Cleared of All Charges in the Murder of Female.

Lonvidians Cleared of All Charges in the Murder of Female.

Safford, Arizona – Jacob Reznor and Anthony Steward, two members of the BLUFF community, have been cleared of all charges in the disappearance and alleged murder of Sarah Josephine Richards. This controversial decision was passed down today in the Graham County Superior Court, dismissing all evidence against the two men […]

by July 10, 2014 10 comments Trending, World
Real Fappy is coming soon!

Monsanto and B.L.U.F.F To Create Actual Fappy Mascot

SAFFORD-ARIZONA (SMNNN) Brother Dr. Skippy Enis, B.L.U.F.F liaison to Monsanto Company announced today that the huge multi-national poison, tasty food, and G.M.O, super corporation, has begun production of the first human/dolphin chimera. Says Dr. Enis, ” Brother Lonnie Childs himself, and his personal attache Doug Pinnick, have been in talks […]

by July 10, 2014 9 comments Disciples, Fappy, Money, Morals, Trending
Grand Opening: Childs Youth Procreation Adventure Theme Park

Grand Opening: Childs Youth Procreation Adventure Theme Park

A new procreation-themed learning park for Christian children will open Friday at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts compound resort in Arizona. Childs Youth Procreation Adventure is designed specifically for children as young as 3 to learn about the dangers of masturbation and Homogayness. “The Christian procreation park completely embodies the idea of creating an environment focused […]

ESPN Starts Smut Magazine To Avoid Bankruptcy

ESPN Starts Smut Magazine To Avoid Bankruptcy

WEST SACRAMENTO, CALIF. — (SMNNN)   As the interest in professional sports continues to wane in the United States, ESPN has attempted to be proactive in their approach to avoid otherwise inevitable bankruptcy. Instead of trying to create interesting and provocative programming on their multiple television networks; ESPN has chosen […]

by July 9, 2014 7 comments Money, Morals, Sports, Trending
Hot New “Wheelin’ and Feelin'” Trend Claims Another Life

Hot New “Wheelin’ and Feelin'” Trend Claims Another Life

Orange County, CA – A family is left grieving and planning arrangements today as the new “Wheelin and Feelin” craze sweeping the nation claims another young life. At approximately 11:15 AM, in sunny Laguna Beach, CA, one child has been pronounced dead and another is injured in what is being […]

by July 8, 2014 31 comments Morals, Sports, Trending
UPDATE – Tracy Morgan More Responsive After Masturbation Wreck

UPDATE – Tracy Morgan More Responsive After Masturbation Wreck

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMNNN) — Actor Tracy Morgan remains in critical condition but is showing signs of improvement less than 24 hours after the party bus he was riding in was wrecked. Mr. Morgan was able to respond to several questions from investigators today which doctors are saying is […]

by June 9, 2014 3 comments Celebrity, Trending
Actor Tracy Morgan Critically Injured In Masturbation Related Accident

Actor Tracy Morgan Critically Injured In Masturbation Related Accident

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMNNN) — A party bus driver has been formally charged in relation to an accident that has left popular actor Tracy Morgan in critical condition. Morgan, known for his popular comedy program “Key and Peele” was riding in a party bus driven by a Southeast Party […]

by June 8, 2014 7 comments Celebrity, Trending
Big Masturbation Begins Smear Campaign Against American Hero ‘Blue Angels’ Flying Team

Big Masturbation Begins Smear Campaign Against American Hero ‘Blue Angels’ Flying Team

  WASHINGTON, D.C. (SMMNN) – A study by the U.S. Navy, funded by a Big Masturbation shell corporation think tank, has attempted to sully the good name of stunt flying team the ‘Blue Angels’. Amongst the litany of accusations are charges of supporting a Homogay™ lifestyle and sexual harrassment. According […]

by June 8, 2014 4 comments Politics, Sports, Trending
12 Year Old Girls Charged In Stabbing Of Their Non-Masturbating Friend

12 Year Old Girls Charged In Stabbing Of Their Non-Masturbating Friend

APACHE JUNCTION, Ariz. (SMNNN) – Authorities say two 12 year old central Arizona girls stabbed their 12 year old friend nearly to death to please an organization they learned about online. Both girls were charged with first degree attempted homicide Monday in Maricopa County Circuit Court. The criminal complaint says […]

by June 3, 2014 0 comments Trending
BREAKING NEWS: Casey Kasem Hospitalized After Wife’s Bizarre Public Masturbation Incident

BREAKING NEWS: Casey Kasem Hospitalized After Wife’s Bizarre Public Masturbation Incident

Broadcasting icon Casey Kasem has been taken by ambulance to a local hospital following an incident between his wife and daughter. In the latest incident during a long family battle, Kasem’s wife Jean used a pound of hamburger meat as a masturbatory aid in front of his daughter from his […]

by June 3, 2014 1 comment Celebrity, Trending
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