(StopMasturbationNOW)—The Greatest president in recent memory, George W Bush took the ALS Ice bucked challenge with incredible grace, class and dignity this week. He was nominated by other great Americans: Jenna Bush Hager, Rory McIlroy, Woody Johnson, and Coach Jim Harbaugh. After successfully completing his challenge. he then challenged “His […]
Indeed, the camel toe is Satan’s powerful weapon in his war to destroy your soul. A camel toe is a slang used to describe the shape and appearance of certain female boxes. When a woman jams her lower torso into today’s tight modern shorts, pant suits and thin fabric panties, […]
Often times, a reluctant masturbator does not want to masturbate, but the addiction of masturbation is too strong. For those of you who do not want to masturbate, but cannot help it, Think of the Children! Masturbation is dirty, sleazy and immoral. That is why masturbators do it in secret […]
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SIERRA LEONE – A French foreign aid worker has contracted the Ebola virus through masturbation. The World Health Organization morns the loss of a brave volunteer, Jorge Pierre-Francios, who was assisting the infected in a makeshift Ebola treatment center in Sierra Leone. Previous infections of the virus have been through […]
Celebrity bounty hunter Duane “Dog” Chapman issued a threat on social networking that he is “coming” for known masturbators. Chapman’s first target is MMA fighter “War Machine” who recently got in an altercation with his professional masturbator ex-girlfriend and an additional unnamed individual. Chapman gave Mr. Machine time to turn […]
SMN Labs-The newest threat from Big Masturbation is soon to become retail. A group of non-normal perverts in Tampa, FL have started “Glovin Life” to promote the sin delights females can acheive with a device named simply, ‘The Glov.” Ladies with carpel tunnel pain can now experience dip-diddlings and pounding […]
A new study from the Foundation For A Better Tomorrow reveals a startling increase of what experts are referring to as “masturbator on masturbator violent crime” or “MOMVC”. A MOMVC is a violent act committed by and/or against a known or alleged masturbator. In many cases, such as the one discussed in […]
Robin Williams has committed suicide.The Oscar-winning actor/comedian killed himself in Tiburon, in Northern California. His people tell us he’s been recently battling severe depression. According to the Marin County Sheriff Christopher Huckeby… authorities found Williams’ body inside his home. They say he was found unresponsive.He was unconscious and not breathing […]
Faith scientists have been working around the clock to get the word out that the recent “supermoon” is actually an anomaly to be feared. While mainstream sciLIEnce likes to describe the alleged “supermoon” as relatively harmless and “just” the closest the moon comes to Earth during its alleged orbit around Earth, […]
