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Greatest President George W Bush takes Ice Bucket Challenge with Class

Greatest President George W Bush takes Ice Bucket Challenge with Class

(StopMasturbationNOW)—The Greatest president in recent memory, George W Bush took the ALS Ice bucked challenge with incredible grace, class and dignity this week. He was nominated by other great Americans: Jenna Bush Hager, Rory McIlroy, Woody Johnson, and Coach Jim Harbaugh. After successfully completing his challenge. he then challenged “His […]

by August 20, 2014 8 comments Family Values, Politics
The Temptations of the Camel Toe

The Temptations of the Camel Toe

Indeed, the camel toe is Satan’s powerful weapon in his war to destroy your soul. A camel toe is a slang used to describe the shape and appearance of certain female boxes. When a woman jams her lower torso into today’s tight modern shorts, pant suits and thin fabric panties, […]

by August 20, 2014 12 comments Lifestyle
Normal Kids, keeping their hands above their necks

For God’s Sake, Think of the Children!

Often times, a reluctant masturbator does not want to masturbate, but the addiction of masturbation is too strong. For those of you who do not want to masturbate, but cannot help it, Think of the Children! Masturbation is dirty, sleazy and immoral. That is why masturbators do it in secret […]

by August 19, 2014 12 comments Family Values, Morals
B.L.U.F.F. Approves Lux Kebab Soap

B.L.U.F.F. Approves Lux Kebab Soap

Now on sale at the B.L.U.F.F. Commissary. Thanks, AD

by August 18, 2014 2 comments Trending
Ebola Discovered Spread Via Masturbation

Ebola Discovered Spread Via Masturbation

SIERRA LEONE – A French foreign aid worker has contracted the Ebola virus through masturbation. The World Health Organization morns the loss of a brave volunteer, Jorge Pierre-Francios, who was assisting the infected in a makeshift Ebola treatment center in Sierra Leone. Previous infections of the virus have been through […]

by August 14, 2014 6 comments World
Duane “Dog The Bounty Hunter” Chapman To Track Down Known Masturbators

Duane “Dog The Bounty Hunter” Chapman To Track Down Known Masturbators

Celebrity bounty hunter Duane “Dog” Chapman issued a threat on social networking that he is “coming” for known masturbators. Chapman’s first target is MMA fighter “War Machine” who recently got in an altercation with his professional masturbator ex-girlfriend and an additional unnamed individual. Chapman gave Mr. Machine time to turn […]

by August 13, 2014 7 comments Celebrity
Bionic “Glov” Masturbator in Development

Bionic “Glov” Masturbator in Development

SMN Labs-The newest threat from Big Masturbation is soon to become retail. A group of non-normal perverts in Tampa, FL have started “Glovin Life” to promote the sin delights females can acheive with a device named simply, ‘The Glov.” Ladies with carpel tunnel pain can now experience dip-diddlings and pounding […]

by August 12, 2014 12 comments Science
Worrying Rise Of ‘Masturbator On Masturbator’ Violent Crime

Worrying Rise Of ‘Masturbator On Masturbator’ Violent Crime

A new study from the Foundation For A Better Tomorrow reveals a startling increase of what experts are referring to as “masturbator on masturbator violent crime” or “MOMVC”. A MOMVC is a violent act committed by and/or against a known or alleged masturbator. In many cases, such as the one discussed in […]

by August 12, 2014 3 comments Trending
Robin Williams handing a Kleenex to a Bonobo Monkey named in his honor

ROBIN WILLIAMS DEAD FROM AUTO-EROTIC ASPHYXIATION

Robin Williams has committed suicide.The Oscar-winning actor/comedian killed himself in Tiburon, in Northern California.   His people tell us he’s been recently battling severe depression.  According to the Marin County Sheriff Christopher Huckeby… authorities found Williams’ body inside his home.  They say he was found unresponsive.He was unconscious and not breathing […]

by August 11, 2014 32 comments Celebrity, Death
“Supermoon” Caused By Masturbation?

“Supermoon” Caused By Masturbation?

Faith scientists have been working around the clock to get the word out that the recent “supermoon” is actually an anomaly to be feared. While mainstream sciLIEnce likes to describe the alleged “supermoon” as relatively harmless and “just” the closest the moon comes to Earth during its alleged orbit around Earth, […]

by August 11, 2014 13 comments Science, Trending
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