At first glance, this looks like a happy couple, sharing in the afterglow of wedded bliss. But…look closer. Notice anything…disturbing? Notice anything…unnatural? Notice anything…that God would disapprove of? The reason why this photo of this unholy matrimony makes your skin crawl is because both of these people are MASTURBATORS. These […]
God Bless, TheRev Leroy Jenkins
Creve Coeur, MO — A federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization claims that another federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization has violated their intellectual property and is now suing for millions. Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and their parent organization Stop Masturbation Now have accused Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Shark of using the same […]
Turkmenistan- (SMNNN) In the backward and primitive sand covered land of Turkmenistan, the Portal To Hell, a large super-natural fire filled hole in the ground, powered by the Earth’s release of natural gas, and God’s rage, has increased by 27% in intensity since last year. Faithscientists place the blame squarely […]
A New Hampshire-based company run by sinful females has introduced new sex toys using wifi technology. The toys, designed to allow two or more users to mutually masturbate themselves, blur the line between masturbation and the righteous expression of love. Robot sex innovations have advanced self rape technology in evil […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— A rash of sinkholes has been attacking Asia and the Orient as of late, causing billions of dollars in damage and claiming countless lives. From Siberia , to China and now Korea.. where a record-breaking skyscraper has been doomed by sink holes. Sinkholes or just “Sin Holes” Are holes in the […]
In a shocking display of unprofessionalism, liberal House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, chased Republican Tom Marino across the House floor during a recent debate. Pelosi, allegedly offended by statements Marino made about her party’s lack of leadership lashed out at Marino, asserting that she did try to do something about the border […]
Sweet drink manufacturer, Coca-Cola, recently got the idea of promoting their product by getting people to “share” it with someone else. Sharing a drink, any drink, with someone infected with an illness is a really bad idea as you can get sick from this action. The sheer number of Worldwide Web […]
HOLLYWOOD, CALIF. — Actor John Candy has been tapped to portray Pastor Lonnie Childs in an upcoming biopic about the prolific anti-masturbation advocate, according to inside sources in Hollywood, California. The long-awaited motion picture, tentatively titled The Passion of the Childs, is expected to be a first for the faith-based […]
