Masturbation is a same-sex sex-act that one performs on themselves. By doing so, you touch the sex organ of your own gender and become so aroused that you climax. This conditions the body and mind to become a gay. It’s like Karate for perverts. If you do identify as homosexual, […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move announced yesterday, Education Secretary Arne Duncan unveiled a new proposal to ensure American students achieve early proficiency in Mexican language and culture. “We have an urgent challenge. Our educational system will soon absorb millions of children from south of the border. At the […]
WATERTOWN CT- (SMNNN) Masturbation, or self-rape, as the sinful practice of self-sexual gratification is known, has long been a leading cause of death. Over the decades, Hollywood has had more than it’s fair share of auto-erotic-suicides. Here’s a list of the top five. 5)- Ernest Borgnine Mr Borgnine, star […]
Rejoice brothers and sisters! A moment of righteous vindication is upon us. After weeks of false accusations and liberal media criticism, Brother Lonnie’s Bleach Away The Sin therapy for children of dangerous minorities is exceeding all expectations! Hours after an incentive program was introduced guaranteeing certain benefits for the parents of enrolled children, the […]
Just one look at this netsite’s “Masturhaters” gallery or even just a quick glance at the comments on any given article show that there is an increasing problem with masturbators using the anonymity of the internet to spew hatred towards the followers of Lonnie Childs. Thankfully, this will soon end […]
Once again, fall is approaching. As a husband and as a father, you may hear rumblings about a “Sweet Sixteen” celebration. Below are a few ideas that are sure to make your sixteen-year-old, same-race wife very happy. 1. Tell her that she can decide what’s for dinner on […]
Every once in a while, a wholesome reader will send a message to us here at SMN.ORG to ask a personal question, or to ask for honest advice in a particularly troubling situation. In this case, a housewife from Virginia writes – “Dear Lonnie, I am a little embarrassed to […]
TUCSON ARIZONA (SMNNN) Big Masturbation’s latest venture, the Community-Linked Integrated Transit System of Tucson (C.L.I.T.T), is set to be protested by Child’s Youth, the under-aged group of religious activists who are so named for Lonald “Lonnie” Childs. The C.L.I.T.T, which is being misrepresented as a transportation system, is actually a […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— No cure, 80% mortality rate, very contagious, a painful death. We are talking about Ebola, possibly the most dangerous disease known to man. Obama is having two infected Doctors brought to the US. Why would someone bring a highly infectious disease to the United States on purpose? There is […]
Stop Masturbation Now Ministries led by our spiritual leader Brother Lonald “Lonnie” Childs has been at the forefront of masturbation FaithScience and has made numerous advancements and FaithDiscoveries regarding our knowledge of self-rape. For instance it was our own FaithScientists along with Brother Lonnie’s fervent prayers that discovered that masturbation […]
