SAFFORD, Ariz. – The FBI is now involved in the case of a murdered Lonvidian woman, found dead in her home early Tuesday morning. Safford police confirmed they are no longer considering Lonnie Childs to be a suspect in the case, and detectives have moved on to other suspects. “There’s […]
Sometimes we have heroes among us and sometimes they are in Hollywood. Earlier this week, California Governor Jerry Brown signed a monumental bill into law, for which many people credit Bill Cosby for making an idea, a reality. In July of 2015, SMN reported the case of a woman who accused […]
SMN Safford, AZ-The tireless duty of Christian Parents to prevent and punish the vile sin of masturbation has become much harder (pardon the pun) since the opening of the box office smash, Deadpool in local theaters. A disturbing parental alert has been issued by the Faith Advisory Parental Media Information […]
SAFFORD-AZ Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts (BLUFF) has vowed not to accept any refugees from Syria into their campus in response to the revelation that masturbators may have entered Europe as part of a wave of migrants from the war-torn region. The move complicates the Obama administration’s plan to accept […]
SMN Safford, AZ-A new waste of film depicting violence and masturbation mob activity has been released by Hollywood. “Black Mass,” starring Johnny Deep is the latest screed garnering a code red rating for excessive self-rape imagery and immoral content by the Faith Advisory Parental Media Information and Liturgical Foundation (FAPMILF), […]
After many sit down meetings and hours on private phone conversations, it appears that none other than Pope Francis finally has accepted Lonnie Childs’s plan to eradicate the Earth of masturbation. Speaking to his millions… and millions of fans on Twitter, Pope Francis went on quite a rant about how […]
For a long time, it was believed that God gave people a given level of abstinence and there was nothing anyone could to to prevent the sinful lust impulses that lead to masturbation. Scientists at Brother Lonnie University or Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) through a grant awarded by the Foundation for […]
New Zealand is a volcanic mass in the middle of the sea lying east of the Island nation of Austria. It has been proven that the earthquake and natural disasters which formed New Zealand were the point from which devils burst through the earth in the demonic ascension, one of […]
Please congratulate B.L.U.F.F.’s own, Cassidy Pen, for his successful efforts to sandpaper small hand tool handles in Stafford. The newspaper writeup follows:
It has come to our attention that some of the lesser of our followers are a tad squeamish using the Anti-Masturbation Cross® on their children. While Brother Lonnie and God will deal with you eventually, in the meantime the Faithscientists at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faithfacts (B.L.U.F.F.) have come up […]
