It’s common knowledge that masturbation turns ordinary people into criminals and perfectly healthy people into Stephen Hawking. But what about our planet? Is the Earth feeling the sting of masturbation? Your average masturbator burns between 50 to 150 calories with every masturbation session, depending on factors such as: […]
-Safford, AZ Masturbation is a terrible disease and a depraved, sinful act. The below are critical “tips” for parents of any age. As we know, children may begin to explore their sin zones and masturbating at any age- watch them. Watch them closely. You never know when Satan enters your […]
The once reliable “Web of Trust” (WOT) add-in for Firefox and Bing-based Browsers has given in to both real and imagined sanctions and bad will brought forth by Big Masturbation against this website. It is truly a sad thing when another reputable guardian for our children gives in to the […]
For Immediate Release – (Safford, AZ) – In 2015, efforts to educate parents and young girls on the dangers of self-rape will take a giant leap forward. Teaming up with the Girl Scouts of the USA, Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin will become the “unofficial mascot” for Girl Scout Cookies. Sponsored […]
By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins A teenage boy from Southern California has committed masturbation suicide after a clip of him masturbating in a bathroom stall went viral, leading him to being “mercilessly prayed AT” at school by Normals, BLUFF News reports. Now, the parents of 14-year-old Matthew Burdette are suing their son’s school district […]
My dear friends in Christ. May God bless you in HIS name and bestow special graces upon you for reading this most holy webpage. Jesus knows that the Internet is rife with all manner of deviance and uncouth content. The devil uses the Big Masturbation coalition of evil to infiltrate […]
The average masturbator sates their ungodly urges by self-raping while viewing pornographic images or watching sex films on the internet featuring people not copulating for procreation. As we have learned from the comments on this very netsite, the more desperate masturbator will get their kicks whacking and rubbing to just […]
Friday the 27th of June, in the year of our Lonnie, will forever go down in infamy at B.L.U.F.F. The jealous wrath of Mark FFuckerb Zuckerberg came down on our beloved savior, Lonnie Childs. Lonnie’s post about the Masturbation Cross or as I prefer to call it, the Celestial Papoose, […]
Yo Quiero, TX — Security agents from Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) have been sent to patrol the border and deal with a dangerous faction of illegal immigrants. The announcement comes at a time when US Border Patrol Agents report an increase in masturbation terrorists crossing into the […]
Safford, AZ – July 16th – it promises to be a day filled with magic and love at the BLUFF Campound, as dozens of young men will be marrying their Initial Spouses in the Day of Hitching annual celebration. A tradition for Lonvidians, the Day of Hitching is approached with […]
