Hey there Normals of the faithful flock! Do you fear handshakes in public because masturbators with their spooge-covered hands are all around us? Are you tired of constantly doing moisture checks on your SRAS to make sure she’s not spelunking in her sin cave? Worried that there might be MRFPs […]
(STOP MASTURBATION NOW NEWS) — Today, Friday September 19, 2014, most American’s are joyously celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day. But for the Marine Wildlife Preserve in San Francisco California today was a day to celebrate a victory. The first successful Baleen Whale abortion. Faithless human Americans of questionable moral […]
Brother Lonald explains to his followers, The need for Christianity to be at the forefront of preventing self-rape and other flesh sins is apparent. The devil seeks to destroy your soul by breaking down your human structure. Satan knows that a human being built with Jesus as the foundation is […]
Earlier this month, our sister-news site “Vice News,” broke a story about rapper “Coolio” attempting to film a music video about Masturbation, for PornHub Records. The Normal people who lived in the neighborhood where the production was taking place called the police to report masturbation-type activities. Mr. Coolio and his […]
BLUFF HQ-STAFFORD, AZ – A recent study just concluded by Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) in association with The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow has confirmed what we at the SMN Ministry knew all along – the men of B.L.U.F.F. have substantially larger penis sizes than those of […]
Note: The following is a excerpt from the King Lonald Holy Bible, a more accurate account of God and Christ. …and so it was that Brother Lonald, adhering to the Lord’s Calling to deliver the message of self rape abstinence to the afflicted third world countries of tribal Africa, was […]
Stafford, AZ – The Lonnie Childs Private Library, operated and managed by Alicia Stephenhopper, has burned to the ground under suspicious circumstances. The state of the art facility, offering the latest dial-up internet access and dozens of books and publications to the members of the BLUFF compound, will be closed […]
SIERRA LEONE – A French foreign aid worker has contracted the Ebola virus through masturbation. The World Health Organization morns the loss of a brave volunteer, Jorge Pierre-Francios, who was assisting the infected in a makeshift Ebola treatment center in Sierra Leone. Previous infections of the virus have been through […]
Robin Williams has committed suicide.The Oscar-winning actor/comedian killed himself in Tiburon, in Northern California. His people tell us he’s been recently battling severe depression. According to the Marin County Sheriff Christopher Huckeby… authorities found Williams’ body inside his home. They say he was found unresponsive.He was unconscious and not breathing […]
We all know that masturbation advocates claim that Masturbation is “natural” and they back-up that claim by saying that Animals do it. This statement is false, to a certain degree. Most animals do not masturbate, as it is a completely unnatural act. Unfortunately, some animals do masturbate. These same animals […]
