Yo Quiero, TX — Security agents from Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) have been sent to patrol the border and deal with a dangerous faction of illegal immigrants. The announcement comes at a time when US Border Patrol Agents report an increase in masturbation terrorists crossing into the […]
By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins SAFFORD, AZ. (BLUFF Press, LLC.) The pastor and two members of a Safford, AZ church pleaded not guilty Monday to state charges of beating and threatening the life of a 13-year-old boy caught masturbating into the holy water, who was forced to dig his own grave, […]
The FaithFacts™ don’t lie. God Bless, TheRev TheRev Leory Jenkins is a Sr. Staff Writer for BLUFF Press, LLC. 785-274-0325 or TheRev@bluff.us.edu
Letters From our Readers to TheRev By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins Dear Reverend Jenkins, In this day of modern distractions such as FaceSpace, Twiddle, Samsung iPhones, and Rap Music, how am I to raise my sweet daughter to become a Normal Non-Masturbating young lady? Sincerely, A Concerned White Dad Dear […]
By Cassidy Pen My dear friends in Lonnie and Christ, many of you remember my SRAS, Angela Pen. My days have been filled with the empty pain of loneliness since my beloved sras went missing. My spirit, cursed with hearing rumors of her capture at the hands of self raping […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMMNN) – Snow Mexican entertainer Justin Bieber has become Big Masturbation’s newest whipping boy after a video of him decrying non-normals and promoting abstinence from masturbation was leaked to the press earlier this week. In typical fashion, the media responded by blasting Bieber mercilessly calling his words […]
POPE TO MEET MASTURBATION VICTIMS AT VATICAN By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins ABOARD THE PAPAL PLANE (AP) — Pope Francis announced Monday he would meet soon with a group of masturbation victims at the Vatican and declared “zero tolerance” for any member of the clergy who would self -rape. Francis also […]
As we all know, masturbation deaths come in fours. Please share these memers with your friends, family, and co-workers. Praise!
Masturbators are often full of diseases and have criminal intent. Here is how to avoid one:
