I’m sure we’re all aware of how Great American patriots like Todd Akin consistently get shamed by the media for their unconventional views on self-rape. Considering we’re now six years into the nightmare that has been the Obama Administration, such things, while not accepted, are unfortunately expected. However, over the years […]
Indeed, the camel toe is Satan’s powerful weapon in his war to destroy your soul. A camel toe is a slang used to describe the shape and appearance of certain female boxes. When a woman jams her lower torso into today’s tight modern shorts, pant suits and thin fabric panties, […]
SIERRA LEONE – A French foreign aid worker has contracted the Ebola virus through masturbation. The World Health Organization morns the loss of a brave volunteer, Jorge Pierre-Francios, who was assisting the infected in a makeshift Ebola treatment center in Sierra Leone. Previous infections of the virus have been through […]
SMN Labs-The newest threat from Big Masturbation is soon to become retail. A group of non-normal perverts in Tampa, FL have started “Glovin Life” to promote the sin delights females can acheive with a device named simply, ‘The Glov.” Ladies with carpel tunnel pain can now experience dip-diddlings and pounding […]
Robin Williams has committed suicide.The Oscar-winning actor/comedian killed himself in Tiburon, in Northern California. His people tell us he’s been recently battling severe depression. According to the Marin County Sheriff Christopher Huckeby… authorities found Williams’ body inside his home. They say he was found unresponsive.He was unconscious and not breathing […]
Hear that sound? That’s the sound of Satan accepting a new victim into his realm. Michael Hutchinson, lead singer of British death metal band INXS, died recently due to masturbation-related complications. From an outsider’s perspective Michael seemed to have a fulfilling yet wild life. He had money, fame and respect. […]
“What happened last night? Did I get selfraped? Who do I turn to?” Turn to Christ, young masturbator! Take the STOP Masturbation NOW pledge of self-celibacy today! Praise!
SMN -My dear friends in Christ. As you are well aware, the fight against the sin of self rape is an ongoing process, one that is never finished. The holy bible, being the first and only needed reference on the topic of morality, contains certain instructions and responsibilities that Christian […]
A New Hampshire-based company run by sinful females has introduced new sex toys using wifi technology. The toys, designed to allow two or more users to mutually masturbate themselves, blur the line between masturbation and the righteous expression of love. Robot sex innovations have advanced self rape technology in evil […]
