Post Tagged with: "Self-Rape"

Disgusting Heckler found to be Filthy Pervert

SMN and Lonnie Childs Heckler Charged with Masturbating in Front of Two Girls

HARVEY, Ill. (WLS) A man was arrested and charged after Harvey residents caught him masturbating in front of two girls in the south suburb, police said. Witnesses said he repeatedly claimed that his perverted act and shameful display of his small genitals was related to his anger at finding out […]

by July 21, 2014 7 comments Celebrity, Spot a Masturbator
Puppy Molested-Former SMN Deacon undergoes psychiatric testing

Puppy Molested-Former SMN Deacon undergoes psychiatric testing

By TheRev Leroy Jenkins EDWARDSVILLE, Ill. (BLUFF PRESS) – A southwestern Illinois man found mentally fit to stand trial on charges that he molested a puppy is waiting for court officials to decide if he’s a sexually dangerous person. The National Report  reports former Stop Masturbation Now Inner Deacon & […]

by July 20, 2014 9 comments Disciples
The Environmental Impact of Masturbation

The Environmental Impact of Masturbation

  It’s common knowledge that masturbation turns ordinary people into criminals and perfectly healthy people into Stephen Hawking. But what about our planet? Is the Earth feeling the sting of masturbation?   Your average masturbator burns between 50 to 150 calories with every masturbation session, depending on factors such as: […]

by July 18, 2014 416 comments Morals, Science, Weather, World
Now you can do your part to spread the Stop Masturbation Now message

Now you can do your part to spread the Stop Masturbation Now message

These 100% Normal American Made bumper stickers are fresh off the presses at the BLUFF Ministries Print Shop, we’ve indentured…..I mean adopted 2000 of the child refugees from the INS in Arizona and gave them a job in our print shop making these bumper stickers.  Each sticker cost only $1.99 […]

by July 17, 2014 6 comments Money
Web of Trust (WOT)…Agents of Big Masturbation

Web of Trust (WOT)…Agents of Big Masturbation

The once reliable “Web of Trust” (WOT) add-in for Firefox and Bing-based Browsers has given in to both real and imagined sanctions and bad will brought forth by Big Masturbation against this website. It is truly a sad thing when another reputable guardian for our children gives in to the […]

by July 16, 2014 7 comments Self-Rape Prevention
Matthew Burdette before his suicide by masturbation

California Teen Masturbates Himself To Death, Parents Blame “Common Core”

By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins A teenage boy from Southern California has committed masturbation suicide after a clip of him masturbating in a bathroom stall went viral, leading him to being “mercilessly prayed AT” at school by Normals, BLUFF News reports. Now, the parents of 14-year-old Matthew Burdette are suing their son’s school district […]

1st Annual Celebration of Normals: Columbus, Ohio 9/20/14

1st Annual Celebration of Normals: Columbus, Ohio 9/20/14

STOP Masturbation NOW Premier Event Please join Stop Masturbation Now and Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin for the 1st Annual Celebration of Normals at Goodale Park in tropical Columbus, Ohio on Saturday September 20, 2014 10:00am-10:00pm Everyone is Welcome* Have your Children sign the Stop MAsturbation Now Pledge and get their […]

Christophobia – the Natural Result of Self-Rape

Christophobia – the Natural Result of Self-Rape

My dear friends in Christ. May God bless you in HIS name and bestow special graces upon you for reading this most holy webpage. Jesus knows that the Internet is rife with all manner of deviance and uncouth content. The devil uses the Big Masturbation coalition of evil to infiltrate […]

by July 14, 2014 12 comments Morals
A Word To the Masturbators

A Word To the Masturbators

Hello fellow Chosen Normals, I, Professor Doctor Brother Dean Thomas Kelly, Necromancer of the twenty-fifth level, would just like to say a quick word about violating your sin-center for the foolish, evil, and disgusting purpose of sexual self-gratification: Don’t. Praise, and may God bless those that matter.

by July 14, 2014 18 comments Disciples, Morals, Self-Rape Prevention
Evil Masturbation Terrorists Caught at Border

Evil Masturbation Terrorists Caught at Border

Yo Quiero, TX — Security agents from Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) have been sent to patrol the border and deal with a dangerous faction of illegal immigrants. The announcement comes at a time when US Border Patrol Agents report an increase in masturbation terrorists crossing into the […]

by July 12, 2014 9 comments Politics
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