SAFFORD-ARIZONA, B.L.U.F.F CAMPUS. (SMNNN) New graphs released by B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow, reaffirm what B.L.U.F.F. quite loudly proclaimed, they knew all along. The most recent graph relates the increase in masturbations done in urban settings, within the United States of America, over the past five years, […]
(Stop Masturbation NOW)— Obama, probably the most controversial and nefarious creature in history has mysteriously risen to the presidency of the United States of America even without being a US citizen or even showing any love for America or its state religion. Some would say he is the antichrist, some […]
Just this past month of May in this, our year of America 2014, Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts had it’s first annual Technology Month. It was a grand affair that culminated in showcasing some cutting edge technology in the fight against masturbation even if there are some fantastic porn […]
My dear friends in Christ. May God bless you in HIS name and bestow special graces upon you for reading this most holy webpage. Jesus knows that the Internet is rife with all manner of deviance and uncouth content. The devil uses the Big Masturbation coalition of evil to infiltrate […]
Hello fellow Chosen Normals, I, Professor Doctor Brother Dean Thomas Kelly, Necromancer of the twenty-fifth level, would just like to say a quick word about violating your sin-center for the foolish, evil, and disgusting purpose of sexual self-gratification: Don’t. Praise, and may God bless those that matter.
The average masturbator sates their ungodly urges by self-raping while viewing pornographic images or watching sex films on the internet featuring people not copulating for procreation. As we have learned from the comments on this very netsite, the more desperate masturbator will get their kicks whacking and rubbing to just […]
Phoenix, AZ — Arizona Governor Jan Brewer announced her controversial decision today granting a full pardon to 35-year-old Phoenix resident Paul Horner, known to his thousands of followers as Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin. Horner made world news last month after his ironic arrest for public masturbation. “I did a lot […]
To Tattoo or Not To? FaithFacts™, Tattoos and You SAFFORD, ARIZ. – Today, there is lots of peer pressure to “get inked.” Everyone, from perky middle school students to “brodudes” to auto mechanics to soccer moms to Wall Street brokers to saggy old ladies with “granny bumps” are getting all sorts […]
Friday the 27th of June, in the year of our Lonnie, will forever go down in infamy at B.L.U.F.F. The jealous wrath of Mark FFuckerb Zuckerberg came down on our beloved savior, Lonnie Childs. Lonnie’s post about the Masturbation Cross or as I prefer to call it, the Celestial Papoose, […]
Yo Quiero, TX — Security agents from Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) have been sent to patrol the border and deal with a dangerous faction of illegal immigrants. The announcement comes at a time when US Border Patrol Agents report an increase in masturbation terrorists crossing into the […]
