Archive for August, 2014

B.L.U.F.F. Female Masturbation Detection

B.L.U.F.F. Female Masturbation Detection

SMN -My dear friends in Christ. As you are well aware, the fight against the sin of self rape is an ongoing process, one that is never finished. The holy bible, being the first and only needed reference on the topic of morality, contains certain instructions and responsibilities that Christian […]

by August 8, 2014 31 comments Self-Rape Prevention
Teens Girls Using Steroids As Masturbation Enhancer

Teens Girls Using Steroids As Masturbation Enhancer

With it being “back to school” season, a terrifying new trend is making parents take notice. It has been a growing problem for high school athletes to use “performance enhancing drugs” to get an edge at various sports, however, now non-athletic masturbators are finding value in anabolic steroids. Young deviants, […]

by August 7, 2014 4 comments Gateway Drug, Trending
3 Scare Films With Horrifying Masturbation Scenes

3 Scare Films With Horrifying Masturbation Scenes

Typically, when lazy Hollywood filmmakers need something shocking to add to their film, they’ll add explosions, kill off one of their actors or introduce fake characters via digital technology. More refined filmmakers have been known to prey on the fears of morality by including shocking sexual and masturbatory scenes in their […]

by August 7, 2014 11 comments Celebrity, Lifestyle
STOP Masturbation NOW Supports TRADITIONAL Marriage

STOP Masturbation NOW Supports TRADITIONAL Marriage

At first glance, this looks like a happy couple, sharing in the afterglow of wedded bliss.  But…look closer.  Notice anything…disturbing?  Notice anything…unnatural?  Notice anything…that God would disapprove of?  The reason why this photo of this unholy matrimony makes your skin crawl is because both of these people are MASTURBATORS.  These […]

by August 7, 2014 11 comments Traditional Marriage
A Holy Wife is a Submissive Wife

A Holy Wife is a Submissive Wife

God Bless, TheRev Leroy Jenkins    

by August 7, 2014 20 comments Disciples
Christian Anti-Masturbation Group Sues Other Christian Anti-Masturbation Group For $350 Million Claiming Trademark Infringement

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group Sues Other Christian Anti-Masturbation Group For $350 Million Claiming Trademark Infringement

Creve Coeur, MO — A federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization claims that another federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization has violated their intellectual property and is now suing for millions. Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and their parent organization Stop Masturbation Now have accused Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Shark of using the same […]

by August 6, 2014 14 comments Fappy, Money
The most well-known thing in Turkmenistan.

Masturbation-Feuled Flaming Gas Crater Intensifies

Turkmenistan- (SMNNN) In the backward and primitive sand covered land of Turkmenistan, the Portal To Hell, a large super-natural fire filled hole in the ground, powered by the Earth’s release of natural gas, and God’s rage, has increased by 27% in intensity since last year. Faithscientists place the blame squarely […]

by August 6, 2014 30 comments Foreigners, Morals, Science, Weather
New Sex Toys Allow Wifi Masturbation

New Sex Toys Allow Wifi Masturbation

A New Hampshire-based company run by sinful females has introduced new sex toys using wifi technology. The toys, designed to allow two or more users to mutually masturbate themselves, blur the line between masturbation and the righteous expression of love. Robot sex innovations have advanced self rape technology in evil […]

by August 5, 2014 23 comments Lifestyle
More Sin Sinkholes Threaten Orient: Seoul’s Tallest Building Collapsing

More Sin Sinkholes Threaten Orient: Seoul’s Tallest Building Collapsing

(StopMasturbationNOW)— A rash of sinkholes has been attacking Asia and the Orient as of late, causing billions of dollars in damage and claiming countless lives. From Siberia , to China  and now Korea.. where a record-breaking skyscraper has been doomed by sink holes. Sinkholes or just “Sin Holes” Are holes in the […]

by August 5, 2014 5 comments Foreigners
Pelosi Outburst Caused By Masturbation Addiction

Pelosi Outburst Caused By Masturbation Addiction

In a shocking display of unprofessionalism, liberal House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, chased Republican Tom Marino across the House floor during a recent debate. Pelosi, allegedly offended by statements Marino made about her party’s lack of leadership lashed out at Marino, asserting that she did try to do something about the border […]

by August 5, 2014 14 comments Politics, Spot a Masturbator
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