Willie Nelson Death Hoax
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Articles by: Cassidy Pen
Pioneers of Self-Celibacy: Ty Cobb
<STOP MASTURBATION NOW!> Born December 18, 1886 in Rural Georgia only one generation after the war between the states, Tyrus Raymond “Ty” Cobb became one of baseball’s greatest players and a pioneer in the struggle against masturbation. Cobb is credited with setting over 90 baseball records with a hard nosed […]
MASTURBATION ALERT! Bert Strips Pose a Clear and Present Self-Rape Threat
B.L.U.F.F. (Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts) has raised the overall self rape level to Orange-Imminent Threat of Self-Rape detected. The Facebook Rise of the Butthurt has published a series of “Bertstrips.” These crude cartoons pose an imminent threat of self rape! The following is official information from the B.L.U.F.F. […]
A Reading From the Book of Exit Us
25:1 And the LORD spake unto Lonald, saying, 25:2 Speak unto the superior gendered children of B.L.U.F.F., that they bring me offerings: of every self celibate that giveth it willingly with his pure heart ye shall take my offering. 25:3 And this is the offering which ye shall take of […]
Study: Femanists File Rape Claims at Higher Rates than Normal Women
A Cassidy Pen Investigative Report… In the years since the so called “sexual revolution” of the 1960’s, the topic of sexual promiscuity and the line separating it from undesired advances and ultimately, assault, has blurred. What was once a playful slap on the rump of the tight-skirted secretary is now […]
New “Wank Band” Looking for “Beater Testers”
WARNING: Explicit Content. Please remove women, children, and other weak-minded individuals from the room. Make sure your computer or Bing device speakers are turned down. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzjeAaLbM5k] More HERE
Internets Meems Warning!
WARNING: Do not be tricked by certain internets meems. Some may appear to be spiritual and comforting, my dear friends in Christ through Brother Lonnie, but they are merely a ploy by Big Masturbation to promote self rape. Take this one, for instance. Note the nasty underbelly to this filth. […]
Interview With a Masturbator: James the Juggalo
Detroit, MI – My dear friends in Christ through the Lonaldian Way, in this edition of IWAM, I sat down (without shaking hands) with James Pearson, a 19 year old Juggalo, who naturally lives in the basement of his parent’s home in an undisclosed suburb of Detroit. Although of normal […]
A Third World Christmas
By: Cassidy Pen, USMC (ret.) My dear friends in Christ through the Lonaldian Way, as you hopefully are putting the finishing touches on your preparations to celebrate the Birthday of Baby Jesus with your appointed spouses and loved ones, I’d like to share a true Christmas story from the past during […]
