Articles by: Stop Masturbation Now
(StopMasturbationNOW)— The great Blizzard of 2016 is rolling up the east coast and with it people are staying home to avoid the snow and bad roads. Unfortunately a consequence of this is people have much more free time and isolation which is a recipe for masturbation disaster. In Baltimore alone […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)-Last week was a feel good moment for us here at StopMasturbationNOW. We had just launched our first satellite the Childs1 into space. Unfortunately, less than one week into service hackers have taken over the satellite and are now using it to distribute interracial gay porn from websites such as […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— Stop Masturbation NOW, a division of SMN Heavy Industries and Chemical, today proudly launched their first satellite into orbit. Named Childs1, the geostationary satellite is capable of broadcasting anti masturbation related materials as well as do experiments. “Childs1 hopes to be the first of many devices planned for this […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—This week we have a question from a loyal follower and father. “Hi, my daughter just went away to college and I see that she has a weekly cash withdrawal out of her account every Friday for $40 cash. I asked her about it and she said it’s for […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—It has been long proven that masturbation is a top ten cause of disease and the leading cause of eroding family values. But masturbation material is constantly prevalent on Facebook. People post “selvies” in which they take pictures of themselves in ordure to encourage other people to masturbate to their […]
Dear Lonnie, I recently started my first year of college and am sharing a dorm room. Its the first time I have ever shared a room with someone long term. It has only been about four weeks now but every night she masturbates, sometimes 2-3 times a night. It started […]
(StopMasturbationNow)—In his annual 9/11 remembrance speech; SMN Industries founder and leader Lonnie Childs announced the need for forgiveness and reconciliation with the religion responsible for the terrible acts on 9/11. Our Faith is based on the tenants of acceptance and forgiveness, we must reach out to these wild peoples and […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Americas motto has been to give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Nowhere did we ever ask masturbators to come here. Actually its exactly the opposite. Last week Mexican mariachi star Ariana Grande launched her own terror attack at America when she went into […]
(StopmasturbationNOW)—Masturbation has been a long proven top ten cause of disease, a gateway drug to rape, and is the leading cause of homosexuality and erosion of family values. However we are just now realizing the damage that masturbation does to the environment. After 26 years of keeping quiet, a monster black hole […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— Jimmy Fallon won’t be taping “The Tonight Show” on Friday due to a hand injury, an NBC spokesman told TheWrap. Although the network will be airing a repeat while Fallon recovers, the spokesman assured that the comedian is fine, otherwise. An individual with knowledge of the situation confirmed reports […]
