Lonnie Childs

Big Masturbation Announces ‘This Ain’t Stop Masturbation Now’ Film

Big Masturbation Announces ‘This Ain’t Stop Masturbation Now’ Film

Big Masturbation announced, by way of one of their pornography shell companies, that they plan to film a ‘porn parody’ of Lonnie Childs and His popular Stop Masturbation Now movement. At press time it was not known who has been cast to play the role of Our Savior, Lonnie Childs. […]

Staunch Anti-Masturbation Ally Turns Normal

Staunch Anti-Masturbation Ally Turns Normal

It’s easy to get discouraged in the fight against masturbation.  Big Masturbation and its allies for years have been undermining the moral fabric of this country through the schools, Hollywood, the LIEberal media and sports.  Today marks a turning point in our struggle. International black baseballing super star Sammy Sosa […]

The Good Samaritans of Hortonville WI.

Wisconsin Religious Pig-Beating Stopped by Gay Liberals. B.L.U.F.F Welcomes Parish To Campound

Hortonville WI/ Safford AZ (SMNNN) The annual Beat Pigs For Jesus Festival in Hortonville, Wisconsin, has been cancelled, no doubt because of pressure from liberal atheist gays. The festival, a long standing holy-ceremony, in which faithful Normals beat the life from disgusting pigs, was protested by known liberal homogay beastophilia […]

by August 8, 2014 13 comments Lifestyle, Lonnie Childs, Morals, Politics
5 Greatest Non-Masturbators In History

5 Greatest Non-Masturbators In History

  WATERTOWN- CT (SMNNN) Throughout the ages, the scourge of self-rape sought to destroy all mankind held dear. Yet some great primitives in ancient times, avoided the plauge of masturbation, and rose above sullying themselves and instead stood tall, proud and self-shame free. Here is a list of the greatest […]

by August 4, 2014 19 comments History, Lonnie Childs, Morals, Trending
Lonnie Childs Wins Land Dispute, Residents of Navajo Tribal Land under Forced Relocation

Lonnie Childs Wins Land Dispute, Residents of Navajo Tribal Land under Forced Relocation

Safford, AZ – In a shocking landmark resolution, The Supreme Court has ordered the removal of Navajo Indians from tribal land, granting the 50,000 acres of prime real estate to Lonnie Childs, a local squatter who first claimed rights to the property over 15 years ago. Lonnie Child’s lawyer, Saul […]

by August 1, 2014 10 comments Lonnie Childs, Morals, Politics
Brother Lonnie has been on the forefront of non-normal outreach.

Brother Lonnie’s Ethnic Community Outreach

There’s been a lot of hateful and just plain wrong comments directed at this holy netsite and Brother Lonnie in particular regarding baseless claims of racism. I am shocked, hurt, outraged, appalled and shocked by these unfounded and libelous claims. Brother Lonnie’s favorite secular show was “Good Times” so he’s […]

Compound children showing the ropes to the new arrivals

Brother Lonnie’s Skin Bleaching Program Proving a Huge Success

Rejoice brothers and sisters! A moment of righteous vindication is upon us. After weeks of false accusations and liberal media criticism, Brother Lonnie’s Bleach Away The Sin therapy for children of dangerous minorities is exceeding all expectations! Hours after an incentive program was introduced guaranteeing certain benefits for the parents of enrolled children, the […]

Seriously? Really Big Masturbation?

Childs Youth to Protest C.L.I.T.T

TUCSON ARIZONA (SMNNN) Big Masturbation’s latest venture, the Community-Linked Integrated Transit System of Tucson (C.L.I.T.T), is set to be protested by Child’s Youth, the under-aged group of religious activists who are so named for Lonald “Lonnie” Childs. The C.L.I.T.T, which is being misrepresented as a transportation system, is actually a […]

by July 31, 2014 2 comments Lonnie Childs, Morals, Politics, Self-Rape Prevention
Sadly this tragedy plays out every day.

FaithScientists Discover Masturbation KILLS – FaithFact #532

Stop Masturbation Now Ministries led by our spiritual leader Brother Lonald “Lonnie” Childs has been at the forefront of masturbation FaithScience and has made numerous advancements and FaithDiscoveries regarding our knowledge of self-rape. For instance it was our own FaithScientists along with Brother Lonnie’s fervent prayers that discovered that masturbation […]

Brother Lonnie has SPOKEN! Praise!

Scooters Deemed Most Holy and Non-Masturbatory Form of Motorcycle.

SAFFORD- ARIZONA (SMNNN) In a revelation, His Resplendence  Saint Lonnie Childs has decreed motor scooters to be the most  Holy of all motorcycles. Brother Lonnie stated that he was visited by a beautiful seraphim, which along with granting Brother Lonnie The Secret of  The Universe, also decreed scooters to be […]

by July 31, 2014 5 comments Lonnie Childs, Morals, Self-Rape Prevention
Help Stop Masturbation Now!
Get the latest content first.
We respect your privacy.