Articles by: augustweisz

Lonnie Childs Apologizes to German People for American Interference in WW2

Lonnie Childs Apologizes to German People for American Interference in WW2

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Sometimes the United States has elected the wrong people and they have done the wrong thing. This weekend in a speech in Munich Germany, SMN industries founder and Leader Lonnie Childs apologized to the German people for Americas interfering with German goals in WW2. “America is a great friend to the […]

by June 8, 2015 15 comments History
Five of the Worst Places to Masturbate

Five of the Worst Places to Masturbate

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Masturbation is bad anywhere but sometimes you have to question the mental state of even masturbators. We get hundreds of letters per week from our followers offering support, donations, requesting help, and lots of stories. Well, here are five stories about masturbators poor choices concerning location and timing of masturbation. […]

by June 5, 2015 11 comments Faces of Masturbation
What Liberals Actually Believe Will Astonish You

What Liberals Actually Believe Will Astonish You

(StopMaturbationNOW)—Liberals pretend to hold the moral high ground when it comes to facts. They point at evolution, the earth not being flat, and even climate change and laugh at conservatives. However it turns out that liberals themselves are the ones that have the fairy tale beliefs. The foundation for a […]

by June 4, 2015 4 comments Politics
Sepp Blatter Resigns Amid Masturbation Scandal

Sepp Blatter Resigns Amid Masturbation Scandal

(StopMasturbationNOW)—FIFA president Sepp Blatter announced his resignation on Tuesday after a second scandal in less than a week rocked the world football’s governing body. Speaking at a news conference in Zurich, Blatter said he would remain in his position until a special election can be held to appoint his successor. Domenico […]

by June 2, 2015 1 comment Sports
Five Reasons Girls Masturbate

Five Reasons Girls Masturbate

(StopMasturbationNOW)—There is nothing more awful than female masturbation. It is so awful that most people don’t want to talk about it in their families, schools, or even churches. However it is important to openly talk about female masturbation and how wrong it is. It is very helpful to know why […]

by June 1, 2015 25 comments Family Values
Lonnie Childs Meets with ISIS leaders

Lonnie Childs Meets with ISIS leaders

(StopMasturbationNOW)— Doctor Lonnie Childs, founder and leader of Stop Masturbation Now Industries, recently wrapped up an unprecedented 3 day conference with ISIS leaders. Hosted in Winnipeg Manitoba the “Winnipeg Summit” as it is now called focused on several topics including the price of oil, dangers of masturbation, and limiting the […]

by May 19, 2015 4 comments Foreigners
Photo Proof Liberals are Trying to Sexualize your Kids

Photo Proof Liberals are Trying to Sexualize your Kids

(StopMasturbationNOW)—It is no secret that liberals hate morals, family values and children. However liberals love homosexuality, perversions, and masturbation, especially when it comes to kids. Here is photo evidence of the liberals “love” for your children. Parents: Talk to your kids about self rape before its too late.

by May 19, 2015 6 comments Big Masturbation
The Walking Dead Star Arrested- Pot Cigarette Found

The Walking Dead Star Arrested- Pot Cigarette Found

(StopMasturbationNOW)—The Walking Dead television show continues to be an embarrassment for American morals and family values. Seth Gilliam, who plays lead charecter Rev. Gabriel Stokes, was arrested early Sunday in Peachtree City, Georgia. According to the Peachtree City police, Gilliam was speeding 107 mph in a 55-mph zone, and a pot cigarette was found […]

by May 5, 2015 4 comments Celebrity
Can Smoking Help Prevent Masturbation?

Can Smoking Help Prevent Masturbation?

(Stop Masturbation Now)— Smoking has gotten an unfair bad reputation recently. The truth is that smoking can reduce masturbation desires up to 50%. When one smokes two things happen. One, the hands are busy and therefore do not wander to the sin regions of the body. Second, the after effects […]

by April 19, 2015 25 comments Morals, Science, Self-Rape Prevention
Ronda Rousey is no Mike Tyson

Ronda Rousey is no Mike Tyson

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Lately there have been a lot of camparisons drawn between Ronda Rousey and Mike Tyson. Ronda Rousey is the current  UFC Women’s Bantamweight Champion where she is an undefeated 11-o. She wins most of her wins by submission and most fights have been finished within minutes.  Mike Tyson had a […]

by April 10, 2015 7 comments Sports, Uncategorized
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