History

Lonnie Childs Apologizes to German People for American Interference in WW2

Lonnie Childs Apologizes to German People for American Interference in WW2

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Sometimes the United States has elected the wrong people and they have done the wrong thing. This weekend in a speech in Munich Germany, SMN industries founder and Leader Lonnie Childs apologized to the German people for Americas interfering with German goals in WW2. “America is a great friend to the […]

by June 8, 2015 15 comments History
Top Five Cultures To Go Extinct From Masturbation

Top Five Cultures To Go Extinct From Masturbation

HISTORY-SMNNN Throughout the 8,400 years man and the entire world has existed, many nations rose from self-sin, and shamed creation, and rightfully so, became extinct. Here is a list of the top five cultures of people to extinct from masturbation: 5) SOME CHINESERS China, largest nation in the Ornament, is […]

by May 20, 2015 10 comments History, Supernatural Disaster, Uncategorized
Was the Great Wall of China Built to Keep Foreigners out or Orientals in?

Was the Great Wall of China Built to Keep Foreigners out or Orientals in?

(StopMasturbationNOW)—For years we have been lied to. The Chinese tell stories of how over a hundred years ago Chinese people built the Great Wall of China to keep foreign invaders out. New research by Brandon Walker at the Wyoming institute of Technology has revealed it is not the case. “After […]

by May 5, 2015 1 comment Foreigners, History
The Real Holocaust Happened in Your Pants Last Night

The Real Holocaust Happened in Your Pants Last Night

[Editor’s Note: This post was originally written on April 20th] Today, as millions around the world celebrate the birth of Adolf Hitler, I am reminded of the genocide that is happening right under our noses. Literally. Each day in America, there are an estimated 250 million acts of male masturbation, […]

Medieval Manuscript Reveals Hidden Cure for Modern-Day Masturbation Superbug!

Medieval Manuscript Reveals Hidden Cure for Modern-Day Masturbation Superbug!

Chalk up another V for TCM! Traditional Christian medicine has done it again, succeeding where scLIEnce and phallopathic medicine have failed. This past week, what is arguably the biggest FaithFind in centuries was announced while the LIEberal media and ungodly practitioners the world over could only bite their lips and […]

James Springer White (photo source: Public Domain)

Heroes Of Anti-Masturbation: James Springer White

James Springer White, of the somewhat liberal Seventh Day Adventist movement was an unlikely hero of anti-masturbation. White, also known as Elder White, was a prolific author who penned such tomes as Word to the Little Flock, The Sounding of the Seven Trumpets of Revelation 8 & 9, and wrote […]

by March 16, 2015 3 comments History
Pioneers In Anti-Masturbation: Benjamin Franklin

Pioneers In Anti-Masturbation: Benjamin Franklin

HISTORY, (SMNN) Deep with the annuls of history, there have been great non-masturbators, today we speak of one of the greatest: Benjamin Franklin THE FORMATIVE YEARS In the early 18th century, Benjamin Franklin appeared in a blinding flash of light somewhere in Siam. He emerged from the crater a fully […]

by February 13, 2015 4 comments History, Lexicon, Morals
Pioneers in Anti-Masturbation: Vlad Țepeș

Pioneers in Anti-Masturbation: Vlad Țepeș

HISTORY- (SMNN) Throughout the annuls of history, there have been great non-mastubators, such as Vlad Țepeș, prince of somewhere in Transylvania. In the 14th century, young Vlad was assaulted by Turks, and was violently masturbated upon by his assailants. Much of his family was killed or simply ran the heck […]

by February 1, 2015 24 comments History
Five Ways to Celebrate MLK Day

Five Ways to Celebrate MLK Day

(StopMasturbationNow)—This weekend is Martin Luther King Jr day. A day to celebrate Michael King (his real and legal name). A lot of people think it is just a day off but really it is a day to celebrate the fact that racism is over and that black people are not […]

by January 16, 2015 12 comments History
(image source: Stan Shebs [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or CC BY-SA 2.5)(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons)

The True Story Of Arizona’s “Meteor Crater”

The so-called “Meteor Crater” in Northern Arizona is one of scLIEnce’s many falsehoods passed on down through the generations. Mainstream secular history claims the crater was found by “European settlers in the 19th Century”. As Lonvidians, we know this to be false as it was actually created by the hard-working […]

by January 8, 2015 10 comments History
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