Self-Rape Prevention

B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow spare no expense in this cutting edge, ultra-expensive graphic pie-chart.

Another Graph Proves SMN Ministries Right Again

SAFFORD, ARIZONA (SMNNN) Yet another graph developed by the joint team of Faithgraphics technicians at B.L.U.F.F. GRAPHCENTER and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow has been released. This time, the handy pie-chart style graph,  (so named because of the graph’s resemblance the pastry known as “pie”), clearly outlines the casualties […]

by July 17, 2014 13 comments Morals, Science, Self-Rape Prevention, Trending
Web of Trust (WOT)…Agents of Big Masturbation

Web of Trust (WOT)…Agents of Big Masturbation

The once reliable “Web of Trust” (WOT) add-in for Firefox and Bing-based Browsers has given in to both real and imagined sanctions and bad will brought forth by Big Masturbation against this website. It is truly a sad thing when another reputable guardian for our children gives in to the […]

by July 16, 2014 7 comments Self-Rape Prevention
5 Memers To Help Spread Lonnie’s Word

5 Memers To Help Spread Lonnie’s Word

From time to time Lonnie asks us to share memers on His netsite to better spread the word to your friends and loved normals. Here is another installment of five memers that help spread the love and joy that Lonnie brings all of us each and every day. Print them […]

by July 16, 2014 8 comments Self-Rape Prevention
A young girl gets her first taste of Fappy outside of a grocery store in Safford, AZ

“A Team Effort to Stop Self-Rape!”

For Immediate Release – (Safford, AZ) – In 2015, efforts to educate parents and young girls on the dangers of self-rape will take a giant leap forward. Teaming up with the Girl Scouts of the USA, Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin will become the “unofficial mascot” for Girl Scout Cookies. Sponsored […]

by July 16, 2014 9 comments Disciples, Fappy, Morals, Self-Rape Prevention
Matthew Burdette before his suicide by masturbation

California Teen Masturbates Himself To Death, Parents Blame “Common Core”

By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins A teenage boy from Southern California has committed masturbation suicide after a clip of him masturbating in a bathroom stall went viral, leading him to being “mercilessly prayed AT” at school by Normals, BLUFF News reports. Now, the parents of 14-year-old Matthew Burdette are suing their son’s school district […]

1st Annual Celebration of Normals: Columbus, Ohio 9/20/14

1st Annual Celebration of Normals: Columbus, Ohio 9/20/14

STOP Masturbation NOW Premier Event Please join Stop Masturbation Now and Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin for the 1st Annual Celebration of Normals at Goodale Park in tropical Columbus, Ohio on Saturday September 20, 2014 10:00am-10:00pm Everyone is Welcome* Have your Children sign the Stop MAsturbation Now Pledge and get their […]

The most expensive graphic in human history, shows how right we are! Praise!

Graphs Prove SMN Ministries Right

SAFFORD-ARIZONA, B.L.U.F.F CAMPUS. (SMNNN) New graphs released by B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow, reaffirm what B.L.U.F.F. quite loudly proclaimed, they knew all along. The most recent graph relates the increase in masturbations done in urban settings, within the United States of America, over the past five years, […]

by July 15, 2014 8 comments Morals, Science, Self-Rape Prevention, Trending
A Word To the Masturbators

A Word To the Masturbators

Hello fellow Chosen Normals, I, Professor Doctor Brother Dean Thomas Kelly, Necromancer of the twenty-fifth level, would just like to say a quick word about violating your sin-center for the foolish, evil, and disgusting purpose of sexual self-gratification: Don’t. Praise, and may God bless those that matter.

by July 14, 2014 18 comments Disciples, Morals, Self-Rape Prevention
The FaithFacts are in: Tattoos are a Sin.

The FaithFacts are in: Tattoos are a Sin.

To Tattoo or Not To? FaithFacts™, Tattoos and You SAFFORD, ARIZ. – Today, there is lots of peer pressure to “get inked.” Everyone, from perky middle school students to “brodudes” to auto mechanics to soccer moms to Wall Street brokers to saggy old ladies with “granny bumps” are getting all sorts […]

Grand Opening: Childs Youth Procreation Adventure Theme Park

Grand Opening: Childs Youth Procreation Adventure Theme Park

A new procreation-themed learning park for Christian children will open Friday at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts compound resort in Arizona. Childs Youth Procreation Adventure is designed specifically for children as young as 3 to learn about the dangers of masturbation and Homogayness. “The Christian procreation park completely embodies the idea of creating an environment focused […]

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