The true champions in the College Football Playoff National Championship was the crowd, for sitting through this snoozefest of a game. There were 1 or 2 exciting moments, no huge comeback, no 102 yard kickoff returns. It was pretty boring. Watching Urban Meyer smile for the first time in his […]
In a world where masturbation has run rampant, more and more people are having their arms or hands amputated due to masturbation injuries and diseases. While we do not approve of the activities that self-rapists involve themselves in, we do still care about the human species and the blacks, so […]
![(image source: Stan Shebs [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or CC BY-SA 2.5)(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons)](https://stopmasturbationnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Barringer_Crater_from_edge-174x131.jpg)
The so-called “Meteor Crater” in Northern Arizona is one of scLIEnce’s many falsehoods passed on down through the generations. Mainstream secular history claims the crater was found by “European settlers in the 19th Century”. As Lonvidians, we know this to be false as it was actually created by the hard-working […]
New Year’s resolutions can run a little hot and cold — and it turns out so can New Year’s runners. The Resolution Run in Safford, AZ has opportunities for participants to experience both the freezing cold and the sweat-building heat of a 1-kilometer, 5-kilometer or 10-kilometer race. And then there […]
As many of you know, we have recently lost Sister Keegan to an unfortunate accident involving a hay bailer and a feral hog. We all loved AnnMarie dearly, and her presence will be greatly missed in the daily activities on the Campound. AnnMarie was scheduled to be assigned to a […]
Happy New Year, everyone (The AMERICAN one, not the Asian one)! Congratulations to all of those who took the STOP Masturbation NOW pledge of self-celibacy in 2014! And shame on those who didn’t! Won’t you make 2015 the year you finally STOP Masturbation NOW?
As a former homogay I spend many a restless night thinking back on my past lascivious lifestyle while praying long and hard to fight the temptations to return to the homogay cabal. After fifteen minutes of rest I begin praying long and hard again. As I was gripped in the […]
Happy Holidays Merry CHRISTmas! For the 2014th consecutive year, Christians have DESTROYED atheist masturbators to ensure that Christmas will once again happen right on schedule! Praise! Hey liberals, why don’t you grab your ridiculous Festivus pole, hitch a ride on your absurd Flying Spaghetti Monster and move to Cuba while the rest of us celebrate the Reason […]
(SMNN) The sad fact of the matter is, no one asks to be self-raped. You don’t wake up in the morning, and say “Hey, maybe I’ll violate myself today, that’d be great.” Self-rape happens. Here we have the chilling confession of a self-rape survivor, who wished to remain anonymous. “I […]
By: Cassidy Pen, USMC (ret.) My dear friends in Christ through the Lonaldian Way, as you hopefully are putting the finishing touches on your preparations to celebrate the Birthday of Baby Jesus with your appointed spouses and loved ones, I’d like to share a true Christmas story from the past during […]
