Today, normals of the faithful flock, I’m going to introduce you to Bryce*. At first glance, Bryce seems Normal enough: He’s a Caucasian male, early thirties, has a good job at a PR firm, follows the teachings of Christ, and always brakes for animals. Looks can be deceiving, however. […]
When President Obama disembarked his helicopter in New York on Tuesday, he created a firestorm by doing what he has done thousands of times before: Salute the Marine standing on the tarmac. Only this time, he had a cup in his hands, and he somewhat awkwardly delivered the salute while […]
Barack Hussein Obama, our first Muslim President, has disgraced the office of POTUS time and again during the six long years we’ve had to endure him. Bowing to foreign dignitaries, playing golf, wearing the wrong color, being the wrong color — there’s just nothing this arrogant, godless man won’t do […]
The FaithFact Engineers have finally solved the age old dilemma of how to teach your infant not to masturbate. With this effective, yet stylishly functional centerpiece, you can proudly display your self-rape free Christian values and keep an eye on your little ones while keeping Satan from tempting them to […]
Teenagers have found yet another way to engage in risky masturbation behind the backs of their parents, legal guardians and church leaders according to law enforcement officials. An increasing number of teens have resorted to either renting private storage units or, in more desperate cases, breaking into storage lockers in […]
(StopMaturbationNOW)—Even though it is proven that masturbation is a top ten cause of disease, it still remains popular among some celebrity circles as “cool” and “hip”. However there is nothing “cool” and “hip” about death. David Carradine David Carradine is an American actor and martial artist, best known for his […]
Hollywood, CA – Leaked footage cut from the finished Left Behind, this year’s anticipated blockbuster Christian film from director Vic Armstrong and starring Nicolas Cage, apparently shows Cage masturbating for a full 12 minutes prior to the return of Jesus. The books, written by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins, […]
We may have figured we’d heard the last of them, but the sinister homosexual noise band, Queen, has released another splattering of dread onto the faces of the public. The deeply offensive tracks in their current live album were actually taken from a concert that occurred years ago. The music […]
Encountering a masturbator in the wild can be frightening if you don’t recognize the warning signs. Pictured is your typical brain-dead masturbator, capable of only making guttural groaning noises, hurling insults that only the most remedial 3rd grade dropout might find amusing and, of course, masturbation. Be aware of the […]
The Menstrual Hut Procedures and Guidelines *Note: The following is a living document subject to refinement, adjustment, and reinterpretation by Brother Lonnie in conjunction with the B.L.U.F.F. Council of Elders (Eldership). Revisions may occur without notice; however, they become Campus Law as soon as they are bound to print. Any […]
