Hey there Normals of the faithful flock! Do you fear handshakes in public because masturbators with their spooge-covered hands are all around us? Are you tired of constantly doing moisture checks on your SRAS to make sure she’s not spelunking in her sin cave? Worried that there might be MRFPs […]
Hello, my name is Lonnie Childs and I am the founder and president of the STOP Masturbation NOW self-celibacy movement. Welcome to my netsite. Many years ago, while living at home as a 25 year-old youth, my mother walked in on me as I raped myself an image of black […]
Oh, righteous of women, serve your man the brewed nectar of grain and hops for with he shall enjoy the nfl action. Make not appearances without a scrumptious snack or beverage in silent servitude, for the action is intense and worthy of thy male eyes. Forthwith, during halftime, pleasure thou […]
SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Did you know Stop Masturbation Now Ministries Inc. is GIVING AWAY a fully semi-automatic AR-15 assault rifle? Yes! For a limited time, you can enter the official SMN Rifle Raffle to win a brand new high-tech tactical Armalite AR assault gun! This Colt AK-15 assault submachine rifle […]
(STOP MASTURBATION NOW NEWS) — Today, Friday September 19, 2014, most American’s are joyously celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day. But for the Marine Wildlife Preserve in San Francisco California today was a day to celebrate a victory. The first successful Baleen Whale abortion. Faithless human Americans of questionable moral […]
Preventing masturbation is a cause that has been championed throughout history by many great normals. Among the outstanding members of this fraternity of morality and decency, one man stuck out like a sore-thumb, and eventually, rose to become the cream of the crop of medical anti-masturbation. I speak of none […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—According to our Leader Lonnie Childs, the referendum on Scottish Independence has failed. Stop Masturbation Now is the first organization to release the referendum results. The referendum failed by a larger margin than polls indicated. This is mostly due to the fact that younger voters seemed to dominate the polls […]
Apple’s roll out of their new mobile operating system, iOS 8, has already met iPhone users with a host of new problems to contend with. Early reports are showing potential problems with iTunes replacing music files but that is a problem for users that can even download the update to their […]
Faith Scientists, working in conjunction with Faith Healers and Faith Physicians, have succeeded in making an accurate, over the counter test for parents to detect masturbation activities in their children. The new test, called F.A.P. Certainty™, will be available by the end of 2014. The test, while being marketed towards responsible […]
When Barak Obama signed the 19th Amendment into law few could have seen the unintended disastrous consequences. LIEberal activist judges have taken liberties with this new law imbuing it with rights that were never intended. The 19th Amendment was designed to make female circumcision legal and somehow these hactivist judges […]
