Mayor of Toronto, Mike Tyson (pictured above), flew into a profanity-laced tirade after a fellow non-normal news reporter shamefully drudged up a two-decade-old self-rape conviction. On live television, Tyson called news anchor Nathan “Debbie” Downer the f-word, the s-word, and a rat. Such language has never before been heard uncensored on […]
“We will see a new species of human, or sub-human rather, by 2050 if things progress at current rates.” That’s a pretty shocking claim from Faith Scientist Dr. Ian Norton, but Dr. Norton backs up this claim with decades of evidence he and other faith researchers have compiled to prove […]
NEWBERRY PALMS, CA – Earlier today, 15 year old Cindy Saccapelli committed the sin of masturbation at her Catholic place of learning. When first responding school officials questioned her, she claimed the stains on her cheerleader uniform were caused by solar flares. The cheerleaders of Our Lady of the Blessed […]
The Ocean-(SMNN) We here at Stop Masturbation Now are, as always, on top of all environmental damages caused by masturbation’s deadly residue, masturbation residue film particles. MFRPs have been proven to cause all manner of terrible holes in the ground, but now, they have taken to causing holes all up […]
Today, we mark the 13th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks which brought this nation to its knees (homogays were already there, of course). Like the Kennedy Assassination, we all remember where we were the moment we heard the news. Most of us were in the middle of […]
There have been many outrageous changes in the roles of the sexes over the past 60 years. Militant feminism, internet pornographics and dangerous minorities have forever corrupted the core family values of our great nation. As a result, the expectation of men and the standard we are held to has morphed a […]
BOCA RATON, FLA. — As everyone knows, masturbators are almost always depressed, socially retarded shut-ins. Their world consists of fixating on distasteful online pornographies flooding the Internet and beating their own privates to a pulp. Since their lives revolve around the one sinful act of Onanism, other aspects such as faith, family, […]
Danvers ME-(SMNNN) Elementary school students of Danvers, Maine have tested at an all-time low, and masturbation is to blame, say new studies done by B.L.U.F.F. Aqua-management Surveying Division. Masturbation Film Residue Particles, or MFRPs, as they are more popularly known, from Snow Mexican seminal fluids , are believed to have […]
StopMasturbationNOW)—The Washington State Cougars headed into this season with dreams of getting to a bowl game and winning. Last year the cougars went to the New Mexico bowl and blew a large lead to lose to the Colorado State Rams 48-45. This year expectations were high under high priced coach […]
In the race to end masturbation, medical interventions are nothing new, but then again neither are male enhancement drugs such as this https://www.vigrx.com/products/vigrx-organic-bio-maca/ and many others. Since the late 1930s, electroconvulsive therapy has been a mainstay of practitioners who love righteousness and hate sin (Shalavin, 2013). But homogays and masturbators […]
