SPACE- (SMNN) Noted liar, Black sLIEnce Man, Neil Degrasse Tyson, and his on-again off-again homogay boyfriend Michio Kaku are claiming that Non-Normal Holes are infesting space, and are present all over the Universe. Both charlatans claim that these Non-Normal Holes were formed, get this, BILLIONS of years ago and are […]
News of today’s Apple iPhone event has brought the continued speculation that the Cupertino based electronics giant also plans to unveil a “wearable” device. Apple fanatics have dubbed the proposed wearable the “iWatch” but so far Apple itself has not confirmed such a device will be unveiled at their “9-9-2014” […]
“Our prayers will heal the damage to your soul from life of masturbation, but only time will heal your vagina.” – Brother Doug Pinnic The fact that masturbation gives you the Gay, is basic Faith Science. And if we learned anything from Tom Cruise’s movie “Philadelphia”, is that unlike famous basketball […]
In yet another incident of “roller jerking“, the Colossus roller coaster at Six Flags Magic Mountain park in Valencia, California received major fire and structural damage on Monday. Although the park was closed at the time, speculation is that an extreme tier masturbator snuck into the park and walked up to […]
(StopMasturbationNow)—Atlanta Hawks Owner Bruce Levenson announced this past weekend that he has put the team up for sale. This will be the third NBA team to be sold in 2014. Bruce Levinson is a fairly young man and has no need for money, why would he want to sell the […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Foreigners suck, they really do. They only hate us and with to crash flying things into us. The Chinese did it at Pearl Harbor, the Arabs did it to us in 9/11, and now the Europeans are turning dead cats into killer suicide bombers. Most people would feel incredibly sad […]
BLUFF HQ-STAFFORD, AZ – A recent study just concluded by Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) in association with The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow has confirmed what we at the SMN Ministry knew all along – the men of B.L.U.F.F. have substantially larger penis sizes than those of […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Our Leader Lonne Childs, through the act of fapstinence, has the ability to see into future events. One of the largest events of this decade is the Scottish vote for independence. The United Kingdom is looked up to by most countries as the Worlds grandparent. Because of this UK news […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—It is well proven that masturbation is a top ten cause of disease. One of those diseases is mental illness. Masturbation rage is a form of mental illness where one gets irrational, angry, violent, uppity or just plain old mouthy because of Masturbation. Pittsburg Steeler Antonio Brown today took his […]
Officials speculate that an attempt to join a fictional ‘club’ of masturbatory achievement has led to a small plane crashing off the coast of Jamaica on Friday. Many details are still unknown, however it is now confirmed that the doomed flight left Rochester, New York this morning and became “unresponsive” […]
