Lifestyle

Clearly, I mean, really (vomits)

Bananas: Satan’s Fruit

NATURE- SMNNN Throughout nature, we at B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow have found a plethora of disgusting natural objects that codify self-rape, but perhaps none is so blatantly obviously created to be a foul dingus as that demonic penis-resembling fruit: the banana. THE AGENDA The agenda of […]

Parental Warning: New Children’s Website Instagrams Delivers Drugs to Kids

Parental Warning: New Children’s Website Instagrams Delivers Drugs to Kids

(StopMasturbationNOW)—There is a new website geared to children called Instagram that your kids might already be using. Instagram is short for “instant grams” and this service provides drugs by the grams free to kids in exchange for pictures. Anything from pot to ellisdee is available from this service. A new […]

by June 23, 2015 19 comments Lifestyle
New Trend of “Masturdating” Threatens Our Way of Life

New Trend of “Masturdating” Threatens Our Way of Life

U.S.A- SMNNN The sickening and immoral trend of reprobate pro-mastubation troglodytes of The United States, #1 country of all time, of “masturdating” has infected our population, like one of the various plagues that were predicted to accompany the End of The World Masturbation Apocalypse. Masturbators, long proven by our forces, […]

Are All Internet Trolls Masturbators?

Are All Internet Trolls Masturbators?

B.L.U.F.F CAMPOUND (SAFFORD, AZ) Workers at the B.L.U.F.F Campound and Uranium Mines in Safford, Arizona announced today that they have proven that all internet trolls are horrible, Godless, masturbating, heathens. In an exhausting study of internets around the globe, a 16 year inquiry finally ended with the unfortunate suicide of […]

by May 29, 2015 5 comments B.L.U.F.F., Compound News, Lifestyle, Lonnie Childs
Is Your Teen Going to End up a Homosexual Masturbator on Prom Night?

Is Your Teen Going to End up a Homosexual Masturbator on Prom Night?

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Prom night is as American as Apple Pie, the 4th of July or Baseball. It is a tradition, a right of youth and for many the night when they become an adult. People look forward their whole teen lives to prom night. The fancy clothes, a limousine, dinner, the dance, […]

by May 20, 2015 7 comments Lifestyle
Masturbation Residues Discovered on Royals Stadium Hot Dogs

Masturbation Residues Discovered on Royals Stadium Hot Dogs

BREAKING MASTURBATION NEWS!!! KANSAS CITY MO – League officials and Representatives of the Jackson County Board of Health are investigating claims that high concentrations of masturbation particulates were found on hot dogs sold by the Kauffman Stadium concession. Arrowmark Industries denies the charges that extensive amounts of semen microbes and […]

by April 22, 2015 4 comments Lifestyle, Sports
Avoiding Masturbation: 5 Things Men Should Not Do

Avoiding Masturbation: 5 Things Men Should Not Do

(StopMasturbationNow)—Many men suffer from an addiction to masturbation. With easy access to porn, it’s easy to get addicted. What needs to be done is deciphering the difference between masturbation and real sex, with an association of the latter being more pleasurable. Guys can learn more about their porn and masturbation […]

by February 18, 2015 13 comments Lifestyle
(Image Source: By Felix O [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)

Masturbation Danger Zone: Public Transportation

As Lonnie has proven many times over the years, some places are hot spots for masturbation and masturbation related sinful activities. Today we’re going to look at a “no go” zone in most major cities around the world – public transportation. Be it bus, train, elevated train, subway train or […]

by February 11, 2015 7 comments Lifestyle
New Downs Discovered, Masturbation To Blame

New Downs Discovered, Masturbation To Blame

U.K. B.L.U.F.F BIOSCIENCE CAMPOUND (SMNN) A shocking statistic released by the U.K.B.L.U.F.F.B.C revealed the results of the extensive several pages of data collected by myself, and various other SMN Deacons and Elders, such as Cassidy Penn, show a direct link between Juggalo Gay Bowel Disease and chromosomal damage, resulting in […]

by January 30, 2015 7 comments Faces of Masturbation, Lifestyle, Science
(image source: Detienne MC (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)

New Female Masturbation Solution

Brother Lonnie’s Anti-Masturbation Research and Development team has recently completed work on one of their most ambitious projects to date; a contraption that serves as a solution to the female masturbation problem. The new product, dubbed the “Sin Cave Stopper®” by Brother Lonnie, himself, has reached the final testing stages […]

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