Science

B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow spare no expense in this cutting edge, ultra-expensive graphic pie-chart.

Another Graph Proves SMN Ministries Right Again

SAFFORD, ARIZONA (SMNNN) Yet another graph developed by the joint team of Faithgraphics technicians at B.L.U.F.F. GRAPHCENTER and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow has been released. This time, the handy pie-chart style graph,  (so named because of the graph’s resemblance the pastry known as “pie”), clearly outlines the casualties […]

by July 17, 2014 13 comments Morals, Science, Self-Rape Prevention, Trending
Masturbation Linked to Higher Crime Rates

Masturbation Linked to Higher Crime Rates

Safford, AZ   Breaking news from the groundbreaking think tank Foundation For a Better Tomorrow. Masturbation has been seen to have a direct causation into incarceration rates and criminal activity. The study was done over a multi-year period, supervised by the best Faith Scientists on the BLUFF campus.   It […]

by July 15, 2014 6 comments Faith Graph, Morals, Science
The most expensive graphic in human history, shows how right we are! Praise!

Graphs Prove SMN Ministries Right

SAFFORD-ARIZONA, B.L.U.F.F CAMPUS. (SMNNN) New graphs released by B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow, reaffirm what B.L.U.F.F. quite loudly proclaimed, they knew all along. The most recent graph relates the increase in masturbations done in urban settings, within the United States of America, over the past five years, […]

by July 15, 2014 8 comments Morals, Science, Self-Rape Prevention, Trending
Lonnie Offers FREE Skin Bleaching Treatments To All Non-Normals!

Lonnie Offers FREE Skin Bleaching Treatments To All Non-Normals!

As Brother Lonnie is often heard saying, “The darker the skin, the deeper the sin.” It is common knowledge that foreigners are the most sinful folk. Most of my fellow brothers and sisters know best to cross over to the other side of the street when they notice a non-normal coming their way. […]

Breaking News: Masturbation Caused 6.8 Earthquake Strikes Fukushima Japan, Tsunami Warning Issued

Breaking News: Masturbation Caused 6.8 Earthquake Strikes Fukushima Japan, Tsunami Warning Issued

(Stop Masturbation Now)— A 6.8-magnitude earthquake early Saturday struck offshore not far from Fukushima, Japan — the epicenter of a nuclear crisis following a massive 2011 earthquake and tsunami — the Japan Meteorological Agency reported. Earthquakes are caused when semen from masturbation flows into the oceans and wiggles into cracks […]

Do Masturbators Really Have Smaller Penises?

Do Masturbators Really Have Smaller Penises?

  (Stop Masturbation Now)—We get this question often. What effect does self-raping your sin stick have on penis length long term? Both men and women use the length of a penis to determine the potential of a person. Well, thanks to a $50,000 grant from the Foundation for a Better […]

by July 10, 2014 48 comments Science
Death Toll From Masturbation Ebola Rises In Sierra Leone

Death Toll From Masturbation Ebola Rises In Sierra Leone

FREETOWN, SIERRA LEONE (SMNNN) — The death toll of aid workers killed by those infected in the recent Masturbation Ebola outbreak in Sierra Leone has tripled in the last week. While local health officials were originally concerned with the deaths of those infected with the disease, the concern has turned […]

by June 10, 2014 6 comments Science, World
Proof that people who don’t masturbate can accomplish anything!  Praise!

Proof that people who don’t masturbate can accomplish anything! Praise!

by May 27, 2014 4 comments Celebrity, Morals, Science
How to Avoid a Masturbator on the Street

How to Avoid a Masturbator

Masturbators are often full of diseases and have criminal intent.     Here is how to avoid one:    

Masturbator Unleashes Firenado!

Masturbator Unleashes Firenado!

(StopMasturbationNOW)— This morning a Florida man was masturbating when the friction of him touching his sinstick caused a firenado. As we know masturbation is wrong and the wages of self-rape are death. Please remember to help work to make masturbation illegal.

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