<STOP MASTURBATION NOW!> Born December 18, 1886 in Rural Georgia only one generation after the war between the states, Tyrus Raymond “Ty” Cobb became one of baseball’s greatest players and a pioneer in the struggle against masturbation. Cobb is credited with setting over 90 baseball records with a hard nosed […]
![WWE Champion Brock Lesnar (image source: West Annex News [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)](https://stopmasturbationnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/brocklesnar-174x131.png)
World Wrestling Entertainment fans can breathe a big sigh of relief as Lonnie Childs has convinced current champion, Brock Lesnar, to renew his contract with the company. Lesnar’s status with the “sports entertainment” group had been uncertain and Lesnar had hinted at a return to mixed martial arts fighting. Things […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Self rape is a number one killer, however some times masturbators put others in harm. Recently airlines started offering in-flight pornography videos encouraging mile high masturbation. Today an Airbus A320 crashed over France, one of the leading countries for masturbation per-capita. Coincidence? Maybe, but the facts are there for all to see. […]
![(image source: By pinguino k (Flickr) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)](https://stopmasturbationnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/joile-featured-174x131.png)
Angelina Jolie is a rare breed of modern celebrity. Beginning with her double mastectomy in 2013, Jolie has been determined to make sure no filthy men and women will masturbate to her ever again. The mainstream press attempted to spin Jolie’s mastectomy surgery as a “preventative measure” to “lower her […]
Midway through its fourth season, popular NBC sitcom, ‘Seinfeld’, featured an episode called “The Contest” where the main characters all decided to see which one could refrain from masturbation the longest. At first the network was not pleased that the writers of the show had such a vulgar theme for […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—The Walking Dead is a popular show that airs on the A&E television network on Sunday evenings. The premise of the story is that due to the Obama administrations mismanagement, some strange plague falls on the land, it turns people into some strange zombie like creatures that they call “Eaters”. […]
B.L.U.F.F (SMNNN) The brave and dedicated monks and faithscientists at B.L.U.F.F. Campound have been working hundreds of man-hours to classify even the most mundane objects as potential masturbation aids, which naturally, can and will cause Masturbation Bad AIDS. Here is a list of the most offensive vegetables our crack team […]
B.L.U.F.F. (Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts) has raised the overall self rape level to Orange-Imminent Threat of Self-Rape detected. The Facebook Rise of the Butthurt has published a series of “Bertstrips.” These crude cartoons pose an imminent threat of self rape! The following is official information from the B.L.U.F.F. […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)–Our leader Lonnie Childs has so far perfectly predicted the NCAA basketball tournament. What make his picks unique is that he made his predictions before the NCAA selection committee even announced the brackets and seeding. When asked what his secret was Dr Lonnie Childs responded that he uses a formula […]
A horrifying glimpse into the unrestrained masturbation practices of the average lesser gendered member of Indian society was unceremoniously leaked onto the internet a few days ago. The video, an abomination even with its short 2 minute and 39 second run time, features several young, Indian lesser gendereds admitting to […]
