LIBERLAND, EUROPE – Europe’s newest country, the tiny nation of Liberland, was heralded into existence earlier this week. The new nation-state, situated on the banks of the Danube River on a strip of land between Croatia and Serbia, was created by Normal European citizens looking to escape the high tax […]
Brother Lonnie Childs has been working closely with a handful of small hotels across the United States on a mission to make hotel rooms less enticing to the common masturbator. Brother Lonnie started small with lower budget hotels, the likes of which tend to attract small business travelers and touring […]
Chalk up another V for TCM! Traditional Christian medicine has done it again, succeeding where scLIEnce and phallopathic medicine have failed. This past week, what is arguably the biggest FaithFind in centuries was announced while the LIEberal media and ungodly practitioners the world over could only bite their lips and […]
We at Stop Masturbation Now have been following the progress of Tina’s Law as it spreads across the United States. Brother Lonnie Childs, in His infinite wisdom, has made “penile monitoring” mandatory for all convicted and suspected male violators of the groundbreaking Anti-Masturbation law. Penile monitoring or, penile plethysmography, is […]
Anti-masturbation achieved a small victory recently when a pro-masturbation beer funded by Big Masturbation was removed from the shelves of a Chicago liquor store. The beer in question, “Happy Ending”, being marketed by SweetWater Brewing Company, features a label of man’s contorted face in the middle of an orgasm etched […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Lately there have been a lot of camparisons drawn between Ronda Rousey and Mike Tyson. Ronda Rousey is the current UFC Women’s Bantamweight Champion where she is an undefeated 11-o. She wins most of her wins by submission and most fights have been finished within minutes. Mike Tyson had a […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—We find that there are two types of people in this world. Those who control their urges, don’t masturbate, and therefore lead happy productive healthy lives. Then there are those who live to serve their penis, ones who constantly need to touch it in a cycle of shame, insecurity, dependency, […]
I’ve met a lot of men over the years that claim to be “real men” but none have compared to Brother Lonnie Childs. I was able to briefly meet Brother Lonnie during a faith conference in Phoenix, Arizona in late 2014 and He made my fledgling writing career by allowing […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—We aren’t the biggest fans of Mormons we need their votes to help keep liberals in check, but their polygamy ways, weird beliefs, and soft stance on Masturbation conflict with the teachings of Lonnie. However in the last Presidential election Mormon Mitt Romney was defeated by Barack Hussain Obama in the […]
