(StopMasturbationNOW)—For years we have been lied to. The Chinese tell stories of how over a hundred years ago Chinese people built the Great Wall of China to keep foreign invaders out. New research by Brandon Walker at the Wyoming institute of Technology has revealed it is not the case. “After […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—The Walking Dead television show continues to be an embarrassment for American morals and family values. Seth Gilliam, who plays lead charecter Rev. Gabriel Stokes, was arrested early Sunday in Peachtree City, Georgia. According to the Peachtree City police, Gilliam was speeding 107 mph in a 55-mph zone, and a pot cigarette was found […]
Safford, AZ – For years, the Stop Masturbation Now! Ministries has warned of and demonstrated the evils of Masturbation. The absolute harm done when one inflicts self rape activity on his or her soul when finger dancing the skin flute or spelunking the sin cave is incontrovertible, but still, agents […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Praise Lonnie Childs! The Calbuco volcano in the Mexican state of Chile continued erupting for the second week causing over 6500 people to flee their mud huts. The ash and fire has reportedly shot as high as 40,000 feet. About 1,500 people in Ensenada, in the foothills of the volcano, […]
Flock, I would like to bring to your attention the latest danger facing our precious youth: the masturbation band known as Tool. Last week, while hosting my sister’s family at the compound campus in Safford, I noticed that my nineteen year-old nephew Jimmy was ignoring the Chick Tracts that I had […]
[Editor’s Note: This post was originally written on April 20th] Today, as millions around the world celebrate the birth of Adolf Hitler, I am reminded of the genocide that is happening right under our noses. Literally. Each day in America, there are an estimated 250 million acts of male masturbation, […]
BREAKING MASTURBATION NEWS!!! KANSAS CITY MO – League officials and Representatives of the Jackson County Board of Health are investigating claims that high concentrations of masturbation particulates were found on hot dogs sold by the Kauffman Stadium concession. Arrowmark Industries denies the charges that extensive amounts of semen microbes and […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—The following is a release from Dr Lonnie Childs to the SMN fellowship… 4/21/2015 Greetings my friends. It is hard to believe we are already one third through 2015. These have been difficult yet promising times. The world has never seen so much evil and danger, yet those same evils and […]
Superbowl winning superstar quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles, Tim Tebow has been convicted of first degree murder and sentence to life without parole. Brother Lonnie has called for the public to withhold judgment until all the facts are known. In his statement Brother Lonnie cautioned against judging God’s favorite white […]
(Stop Masturbation Now)— Smoking has gotten an unfair bad reputation recently. The truth is that smoking can reduce masturbation desires up to 50%. When one smokes two things happen. One, the hands are busy and therefore do not wander to the sin regions of the body. Second, the after effects […]
