(StopMasturbationNOW)—The Safford Arizona SMN compound will be holding its annual canned food drive this week. It starts Monday April 6 and will wrap up Friday April 10. Canned food will be accepted in the school entrance lobby, the armory, and in the bin by the main gates. Last year over 1500Lbs of canned […]
![(image source: By English: Lance Corporal Antonio J. Vega, United States Marine Corps [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)](https://stopmasturbationnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/US_Marines_MOUT_practice-174x131.jpg)
According to sources within Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts, the United States has ‘accidentally’ leaked a map that B.L.U.F.F. was using for internal strategy purposes. The map in question featured the Southwest of the United States and labeled the areas that Brother Lonnie and His advisors had planned to […]
Another one of life’s great mysteries has been solved thanks to the tireless efforts of Lonnie Childs. Brother Lonnie was out walking the Earth as He does from time to time and found Himself in Western Oregon in the woods. The particular area Brother Lonnie was traveling through is renowned […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Masturbation in a home can be a most dangerous thing. Besides the obvious physical dangers you are also inviting Satan to live with you. Well fathers, you need to be on the lookout, wives daughters and the gays are self-raping with household items. As items such as hair curlers, baby […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—After the fantastic success of our Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin program we had a lot of requests for him to speak to many Mexican areas of our country and around the world, the problem is as everyone knows, dolphins don’t speak Mexican. So thanks to a $50,000 research study that […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Masturbation is the number one problem in the home. Parents that masturbate tend to have children that masturbate. Continuing the terrible cycle of self-rape, failed promises, missing family values, and disease. Fathers, before you didle your sin stick, think about your children, think about your daughter. Would you want your […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—It’s the age old question… what came first the chicken or the egg? Well it kind of depends who you talk to, if you are a faithful follower of the teachings of Lonnie then you are well aware that the chicken was created intact and whole. However if you are […]
Most of you are familiar with the controversy surrounding the vaccines. If not, then you probably live under a rock in the desert. The vaccines are neither necessary nor safe, and men of God have warned against them ever since their inception. As dangerous as they are, illnesses are God’s creations. […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— A residential apartment building collapsed and was engulfed in flames today in New York City’s East Village neighborhood. There was no immediate information on possible injuries, said a spokesman for the New York Police Department. Live footage on local television showed a residential apartment building engulfed in flames and […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— Yesterday an airplane tragically crashed in France . The news has been very sad. However photos of the victims seems to focus on the more attractive normal skinned passengers that perished in the tragedy. This raises the question, does society value some people more than others. It seems there is […]
